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At This Point I Wouldn’t Even Trade Alex Caruso For Anthony Davis



Alex Caruso For Anthony Davis
Carusin' For A Brusin'

Just Carusin’

Making even King LeBron dance, like the blowing in the ear, air guitar Lance. New Andre Ingram G to big league sensation Alex Caruso hit big again last night. Just like his off the rim put back, ‘put him in next year’s slam contest’ dunk from the last game against the Warriors that put everyone off the bench and on their feet.

Is it too harsh to call him the ‘Bald Mamba’?! Dude this writer with thinner hair than his own arms feels your pain.

Maybe the ‘tached Mamba?!

Either way this kid needs a new nickname because it’s no longer the sound of The Ringer’s, “hey what’s up man, I’m Alex” joke.

Garbage time in the NBA means a lot more to hoop head purists than it does to those clock watching like 4.25 on your Dolly Parton shift, or looking like a Kardashian sat courtside in Tinseltown for the glitterball paparazzi. And the Lakers have had a lot of trash time and talk to throw out lately. After being eliminated by the guy they said couldn’t lead two weeks back when D’Angelo Russell took his Brooklyn Nets one step closer to the playoffs, the Lakers last run of games have arguably been for nil. Especially with everyone losing on purpose for the big tank that is Duke Zion. But no. Not the Lakers though. They’ve been playing for pride. Like they’ve still got a horse in this race (as much as I’m against that sport, especially this weekend). Like they could still sow a playoff seed. Even with James getting ready for ‘Space Jam 2’ and shutting it down for the season after playing through the pain. Only a King can invent an injury like “load management”. But all joking aside it’s time to honour all he has carried on his back and broad shoulders in Hollywood, even with this blockbuster flop of a season.

‘Bron joins the young core likes of Brandon Ingram, Kyle Kuzma, Josh Hart and Lonzo Ball in suit and gifted necklaces on the catwalk that is courtside. Four guys who along with the rest of this teams future and a couple of memes were Magic offered up out of a top hat for New Orleans Pelican Anthony Davis. All for not even one white rabbit to follow. As the only thing that disappeared was this teams chemistry adding splinters in the bench insult to the injuries that already took this team from a fourth seed who could even finish off the Warriors without their King, to one who took it in the groin. But the chemistry is back now like fourth period after biology and physics. As this garbage time has helped cement this team like covering up a landfill, or the mess all that “Magic” made, as this unit has swept up and cleaned up house together without having to give anyone else up like being Rick rolled.

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Apart from Ivica Zubac. Sniff. We miss ‘Zu.

But last night as this now Clipper stared down Mike Muscala and his old Lakers at STAPLES as the home team, the Lakers vowed to not learn from their Russell and Randle mistakes yet again in this karmic season as they showed the cross-court Clippers this was their house too and first. L.A. was the Laker way again. All day. As they took back the series with a 122-117 win to help close out a close call of a season. And this clock eating time got you to spend some with some more Lake Show stopping talents. Like the big man dunking and blocking spring that has been McGee all season. Or K.C.P. who from three has turned into the last ball on the contest shooting rack.

But the only thing just as promising as the Lakers future with their young core and the numbers they pick on the lottery (hello number 1), is their two-way development of G-League players. A serious hoops hotbed league of Gatorade ready to go off the bench talent. We’ve already seen the 10 days they’ve offered to heroes from the South Bay like ‘Dre. And rooks like the hopping and hooping Johnathan Williams are showing and earning their pay that their time to clock in for more is coming too like the ticking hand. But how about Alex Caruso? A.C. is keeping it fresh like Laker legend Green. Alex can create for himself, hustle hard to the basket and find his own shot. But give him the open lane or town for a big bucket, he’s either going to throw it up or put it down with a highlight reel worthy of this Hollywood. The kid who does all the dirty work has that flash. A.C. is fresher than air conditioning. And last night he rewrote another career high with 32 points and 10. Save the 10 days. Give this young future of the show a full 82. Like last nights commentator channeling his inner ‘Django Unchained’ and waltzing with Christophe, “that’s a bingo”!

Punch this kids ticket. There’s more than one way to make it in this league like a draft of wind. The time and tide is changing to a new forecast in So Cal.

Even this Laker fan a couple of months ago when the team was trying to find an open roster spot for legend and LeBron friend Carmelo Anthony was ignorantly saying, “just get rid of one of those two-way South Bay guys”. But now Caruso over Carmelo, I eat those words like ice in the front offices glass of water with a fizzing Alka Seltzer for that elimination. At this point I wouldn’t even trade Anthony Davis for this guy.

Hey man, this is Alex.

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Lakers Finally Get Anthony Davis. But At What Cost?



Lakers Finally Get Anthony Davis But At What Cost
Hold On, We're Making Hollywood Your Home...


Like a rat crawling over some controls and releasing Scott Lang from the Quantum Realm in this Endgame, just like that the Lakers have their Ant-Man. And it’s an avenging, giant, levelling up move.

Anthony Davis is finally a Los Angeles Laker.

Still I hate to piss on this parade and sound like Morgan Freeman in ‘The Dark Knight’, but at what cost?

Well to be specific here’s the receipt.

Lonzo Ball (bad move).

LaVar Ball.

Brandon Ingram (okay we expected that, but still).

Josh Hart (what?!).

The fourth pick in this weekends draft (or should we say Cam Reddish).

And a load of other picks over the next few seasons. Or should we say a couple of Jordan Clarkson’s and Larry Nance Jr.’s.

Well at least they got to keep Kyle Kuzma for a formidable frontcourt that might be the new, next big three.

But the young core and that keep the hash-tag campaign is officially the casualty of this trade bait like the jobs of Magic and Dell Demps, that’s been fish on the line dangling for longer than that Kawhi Leonard rim rattling shot against the Sixers.

Rob Pelinka’s a beast…and not in a good way.

We will say it again. That clip of Rob Pelinka claiming he set up a meet between Kobe Bryant ans Heath Ledger after Mamba watched ‘The Dark Knight’ is beyond messed up. We all know Heath passed away before the film even came out. Don’t disrespect the dead. Can’t buy character. But can sell your integrity.

That’s who you are dealing with Lake Show.

Hollywood’s Rob Lowe would have been better.

Let’s see who you’re not dealing with anymore.

D’Angelo Russell, Julius Randle, Jordan Clarkson, Larry Nance Jr., Ivica Zubac, Thomas Bryant, Lonzo Ball, Brandon Ingram, Josh Hart.

Is that everyone?

What you wanted more?

All the years all the young guns with plenty more calenders left in their clips. All gone.

And they didn’t even ask for Julius Randle back as part of the trade kicker.

Come on.

But look to him staying in New Orleans now with Ball, Ingram, Hart and whoever else would have ended up in Los Angeles with that luck of the lottery fourth ball. And the Pelicans about to fly with the road to Zion looking like the closest thing to what would have been the young Lake Show for the future Mardi Gras in Crescent City.

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Don’t write off NOLA it’s all about to go down smooth in the Big Easy.

But after months of speculation, social media tweets and articles I rest my case, I’ll say no more. But you know how it is.

On the bright side in sunny California…Anthony f##### Davis.

The Lakers finally have their man. And next to LeBron the most dynamic duo since Shaq and Kobe…sorry Pau. It could be Finals…it’s at least playoffs.

Now it’s time to put another great core together.

Kemba? Three Kings?

Kyrie? Kevin? Kawhi?

Cue that laugh…hey we all have dreams in Hollywood.

Free agents will be more likely to join the ‘Space Jam’ show now too, but whoever LeBronland casts like throwing up movies off your phone on to your T.V. it’s a whole new world in L.A. now the Genie (or Jeanie) has finally granted their wish.

But how about two more Aladdin? On the spirit of Robin Williams help us Will Smith!

Then that will make up for all the young princes they’ve lost for one King.

As of right now like Swiss, this team has more holes than “fashionable” hipster t-shirts on Rodeo. There’s no starting point for one. And not having Lonzo ball out on the tutoring of both legendary super sub Rajon Rondo and the fellow pure point Basketball I.Q. of new assistant coach Jason Kidd is a real shame. Like losing a pure scorer like Ingram (or *clears throat* D-Lo). Or the best role player the Lakers have ever had since the days of Horry, Fox and Fisher in Josh Hart. Not to mention whoever would have come next starting this weekend.

All for a guy who was going to come to us next Summer anyway and in these changing player power times could still walk away next season anyway.

All for nothing?

I guess the Lakers looked at Leonard winning it all with Toronto and thought it was all worth it.

But at least it’s all done. It’s over now. And for now Anthony Davis in that Glen Rice 41 is the next big man great in the legendary Laker lineage of Mikan, Wilt, Kareem, Shaq and Pau.

Just don’t Andrew Bynum or Dwight Howard this up.

Rich Paul for MVP.

That’s all folks!

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The Six In 6. Toronto Become First Canadian NBA Champions



The Six In 6 Toronto Become First Canadian NBA Champions
Kawhi Not?

They the North did it.

Last night in the Bay the 6 got turned upside down with no need for a seven right now. As Drake’s really big team got some really big rings.

And with a 114-110 win in Oakland against the Golden State Warriors for Game 6 of the NBA Finals. After almost a quarter century the Toronto Raptors became the first franchise outside of the United States to win the National Basketball Association finals to make history and become Canadian champions.

And in their Canuck colours pointing to the North from California with the gold, these red and whites flying the flag in the U.S. did it for all of us as they truly changed the game.

It started with an expansion 24 years ago in Toronto. Alongside the Vancouver Grizzlies. It ended with them being the sole franchise outside of America in the NBA as former Memphis Grizzlies center Marc Gasol joined another former gritted Grizz in the form of his big brother Pau Gasol to be the first siblings in hoops history to be NBA champions.

It started with throwback cousins Vince Carter and Tracy McGrady in Dino unis, throwing it up and putting it down. Bringing the Air to the Air Canada Center. It ended like Vinsanity in the 2000 Slam Dunk Contest for a new millennium. Looking at the camera after honey dipping and putting it through the legs, telling us emphatically with cutting hand gestures, “it’s over”.

This is for him. Mac. Mighty Mouse. The Camby Man. The Junkyard Dog. Iron Man, Mo Pete. Chris Bosh.

You know it’s for DeMar DeRozan too especially.

Kyle Lowry (what more can you say with 26, 7 and 10 leading the way?). Gasol. Siakam (G-League to big league champ). VanVleet. Ibaka. Lin. And of course quite possibly now the greatest player in the world right now and Finals MVP (joining Kareem and the King as the only Most Valuable Finals Player with multiple teams), sinking that last free throw as epic as his around the world and a day buzzer beater against the Sixers in the six, Kawhi Leonard.

Nick Nurse the architect. And of course another one, James Naismith. This game was invented by Canadians, played by Canadians and like the first ever game in NBA history, this victory belongs to Canadians.

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Drake. Real superfan Nav Bhatia and the Canadian coffee house company Tim Hortons raising a cup to him commercial tribute. Everyone in Jurassic Park roaring like T-Rexes for these Raptors and of course all of you. Truly bringing the buzz to basketball.

This if for the real Warriors too. Five straight finals for the first time in a half century, 50 years (love Commish Adam Silver’s lining tribute). The dynasty that is nowhere near dead as they fought to the end for their last look in the Oracle in those Town across the chest jerseys before moving from Golden State across the Golden Gate to a new era of dominance in the hilly streets of San Francisco (the next time we’ll see Toronto is in Tokyo, October for our very own NBA Japan), where that digitally developing skyline from those tram peak points is the limit. No matter who stays or goes in this Curry, Durant, Draymond and Klay juggernaut with guys like Igudola and Cousins relating too. This is for Kevin Durant (who we apologize to for every Canadian fan who cheered his injury in Game 5. Although Warrior fans cheered for an injured Kawhi back in the day too) who played to the pain as all heart he proved everyone wrong and did it all for his team. And true Warrior mode Klay Thompson who went down with a crippling injury too in this final game and came right back to the right kind of cheers. This superteam and one of the greatest in history is far from extinct.

But right now for the Toronto Raptors it’s Jurassic World and the Golden State Warriors for the last time, fallen kingdom.

And as the final horn called for the last game of the season all hands were kept high for the North who overcame all the cold to break the ice for the first championship. And the champagne no longer on ice tasted as good as these underdogs proving everyone wrong as they bit back.

I’m not crying…we’re all crying.

We the champions my friends and Canadian countrymen.

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