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At This Point I Wouldn’t Even Trade Alex Caruso For Anthony Davis

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Alex Caruso For Anthony Davis
Carusin' For A Brusin'

Just Carusin’

Making even King LeBron dance, like the blowing in the ear, air guitar Lance. New Andre Ingram G to big league sensation Alex Caruso hit big again last night. Just like his off the rim put back, ‘put him in next year’s slam contest’ dunk from the last game against the Warriors that put everyone off the bench and on their feet.

Is it too harsh to call him the ‘Bald Mamba’?! Dude this writer with thinner hair than his own arms feels your pain.

Maybe the ‘tached Mamba?!

Either way this kid needs a new nickname because it’s no longer the sound of The Ringer’s, “hey what’s up man, I’m Alex” joke.

Garbage time in the NBA means a lot more to hoop head purists than it does to those clock watching like 4.25 on your Dolly Parton shift, or looking like a Kardashian sat courtside in Tinseltown for the glitterball paparazzi. And the Lakers have had a lot of trash time and talk to throw out lately. After being eliminated by the guy they said couldn’t lead two weeks back when D’Angelo Russell took his Brooklyn Nets one step closer to the playoffs, the Lakers last run of games have arguably been for nil. Especially with everyone losing on purpose for the big tank that is Duke Zion. But no. Not the Lakers though. They’ve been playing for pride. Like they’ve still got a horse in this race (as much as I’m against that sport, especially this weekend). Like they could still sow a playoff seed. Even with James getting ready for ‘Space Jam 2’ and shutting it down for the season after playing through the pain. Only a King can invent an injury like “load management”. But all joking aside it’s time to honour all he has carried on his back and broad shoulders in Hollywood, even with this blockbuster flop of a season.

‘Bron joins the young core likes of Brandon Ingram, Kyle Kuzma, Josh Hart and Lonzo Ball in suit and gifted necklaces on the catwalk that is courtside. Four guys who along with the rest of this teams future and a couple of memes were Magic offered up out of a top hat for New Orleans Pelican Anthony Davis. All for not even one white rabbit to follow. As the only thing that disappeared was this teams chemistry adding splinters in the bench insult to the injuries that already took this team from a fourth seed who could even finish off the Warriors without their King, to one who took it in the groin. But the chemistry is back now like fourth period after biology and physics. As this garbage time has helped cement this team like covering up a landfill, or the mess all that “Magic” made, as this unit has swept up and cleaned up house together without having to give anyone else up like being Rick rolled.

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Apart from Ivica Zubac. Sniff. We miss ‘Zu.

But last night as this now Clipper stared down Mike Muscala and his old Lakers at STAPLES as the home team, the Lakers vowed to not learn from their Russell and Randle mistakes yet again in this karmic season as they showed the cross-court Clippers this was their house too and first. L.A. was the Laker way again. All day. As they took back the series with a 122-117 win to help close out a close call of a season. And this clock eating time got you to spend some with some more Lake Show stopping talents. Like the big man dunking and blocking spring that has been McGee all season. Or K.C.P. who from three has turned into the last ball on the contest shooting rack.

But the only thing just as promising as the Lakers future with their young core and the numbers they pick on the lottery (hello number 1), is their two-way development of G-League players. A serious hoops hotbed league of Gatorade ready to go off the bench talent. We’ve already seen the 10 days they’ve offered to heroes from the South Bay like ‘Dre. And rooks like the hopping and hooping Johnathan Williams are showing and earning their pay that their time to clock in for more is coming too like the ticking hand. But how about Alex Caruso? A.C. is keeping it fresh like Laker legend Green. Alex can create for himself, hustle hard to the basket and find his own shot. But give him the open lane or town for a big bucket, he’s either going to throw it up or put it down with a highlight reel worthy of this Hollywood. The kid who does all the dirty work has that flash. A.C. is fresher than air conditioning. And last night he rewrote another career high with 32 points and 10. Save the 10 days. Give this young future of the show a full 82. Like last nights commentator channeling his inner ‘Django Unchained’ and waltzing with Christophe, “that’s a bingo”!

Punch this kids ticket. There’s more than one way to make it in this league like a draft of wind. The time and tide is changing to a new forecast in So Cal.

Even this Laker fan a couple of months ago when the team was trying to find an open roster spot for legend and LeBron friend Carmelo Anthony was ignorantly saying, “just get rid of one of those two-way South Bay guys”. But now Caruso over Carmelo, I eat those words like ice in the front offices glass of water with a fizzing Alka Seltzer for that elimination. At this point I wouldn’t even trade Anthony Davis for this guy.

Hey man, this is Alex.

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NBA

Patrick Beverley Doesn’t Give A F…

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Patrick Beverley Doesnt Give A F
Who Gives A...

If life really is measured on f###s. L.A. guard of the Clippers kennel, Patrick Beverley has none left to give.

Frankly my dear, in Hollywood this guy doesn’t give a damn.

He doesn’t care that the Lakers drafted and dealt him like Pau Gasol’s younger brother Marc (even if for fuel he once may have). They’ve made that young core mistake time (Julius) after time (D’Angelo) and history will Anthony Davis itself again. He doesn’t care about LeBron James and his Hollywood throne. Or even Lonzo Ball and his opening night. He doesn’t care that the Lakers are the Tinseltown toast of Hollywood and L.A.’s team. He doesn’t care that they share STAPLES like borrowing office supplies from the next cubicle. They aren’t even in the playoffs right now. But his team is. Covering up banners with the balls to raise one of their own one day. He cares about this side of L.A. Their way.

Patrick Beverley doesn’t care about the Houston Rockets, James Harden, Russell Westbrook, or the Oklahoma City Thunder like Kevin Durant. And he doesn’t care about him or Steph Curry, Klay Thompson, Draymond Green, DeMarcus Cousins or any Splash Brother Warriors from Oakland to San Francisco. You can talk about how Kevin Durant cares about him though. Look at that look of love for the game he’s bringing on his face in the midst of all that trash talking respect disguised as hate. I haven’t seen Kevin this happy in years. For all that emotion K.D. has received ever since he switched shores to the Bay, this is the only time he’s loved this type of hate. Because it’s not that. It’s just the passion of competition. And there’s nothing “just” about that, although all is fair in love and basketball war. Because like the late, great Charlie Murphy once said about Prince serving pancakes and behind the backs on ‘Chappelle’s Show’ epic real Hollywood stories, “this cat can ball man”.

Would anyone like some grapes?

I guarantee Patrick Beverley doesn’t care if you do. Like he doesn’t even care that Durant dominates this photo that speaks a thousand words or more for this article like we were shamelessly trying to bait more clicks. When really we’re trying to show how David looks in the face of Goliath from his vantage point. Not to mention the joy laced with “oh s### this guy’s really got me” look on the face of one of the greatest in the game about to get ejected too for going toe to toe with a super sub. But never underesimate the power of a microwave player like leaving your reheated Subway sandwich in the nuke cooker for too long. No matter how much you blow on it or fan it with you skittish hands, it’ll never quite feel like it’s going to cool off from its magma serving like a deep burn (we’re talking more ‘Big Bang’ Sheldon Cooper Aloe Vera here, more than ‘Anchorman’ Ron Burgundy’s thousand bicep curls that probably started at around nine hundred and ninety nine). Hello Lou Will, 6 Man of all-time, popping nachos after he did the Warriors celebration balloon like fallen Forum ones in Celtics cursed storied Lakerland. He doesn’t care about tacos, this cheese is for all the salsa. Pat Bev doesn’t even care that this Laker fan wishes he would have worn purple and gold like others he still wishes would (miss Zu). Like he probably doesn’t care for this shortened version of his name.

Patrick Beverley won’t even care about this article but we do.

He doesn’t care that the Durant dynasty as hot as Curry from downtown Oak Town are champions for years running more than faucets that leak as much as the splash in the Golden Gate of Golden State’s Pacific. To be specific he doesn’t even care if his team is down 31. Because another 30 points from sweet Lou will turn this game around and into the makings of a all guts to their own glory road, ESPN 30 for 30 documentary as the Clippers clip all that like short back and sides. Just like the place you parlour pool your postgame analysis in the next day as you’re former haircut gets dustpan swept up like many people thought these L.A. kings of the underground would be on their way by now like “we close in half an hour”. But now they stand as underdogs of the year in an end of season award category that should be invented with this guy being it’s de facto MVP for his team. Most Improved? Nah? Patrick Beverley doesn’t care about that.

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He doesn’t care about you. The name on the back of your jersey. Or the team on the front. No matter how many people in the stands share those strands. He doesn’t care if he gets in your head like the Spotify song of the moment, or under your skin like that underrated Scarlett Johansson movie that sees her as an alien riding around Scotland in a a truck picking up dudes (why was I not in Glasgow that week?). He doesn’t care that I wasn’t in Glasgow that week. Neither does Scarlett.

What he does care about is his job, his role and his team. And he doesn’t care if he has to get ejected like the passenger seat in James Bond’s old Sean Connery era Aston Martin to do it. He doesn’t care if you’ve just been jettisoned from 007’s car. He doesn’t care if you’re shaken or stirred. You should have worn a seatbelt. He cares about buckling up and down. Guarding the opposing teams best player. Even if it is one of the best in the world right now. And he doesn’t care about switching to the other best player in the world on the same damn team if the occasion calls for it. He doesn’t care about that. He just cares about rising to the occasion. Answering the call. He doesn’t care if Philly are on their phones. He cares about what’s at stake. He cares about making them sweat for every shot, swat or not. He cares that tonight’s he’s going to give his all come tip. Because here’s a tip for you, what Patrick Beverley DOES care about is the game. Like the one Allen Iverson goes out there and dies for. Forget practice. Stepping over Kevin freaking Durant like Ty Lue. Like he 1 through 15 cares about his band of brothers. Like family. Like what he’d give everything for. Sweat after shot. Cheap or invested. Never throwing in the towel, or even taking a Gatorade break. Unlike Young Jeezy he doesn’t even care about how much Gatorade makes. And who even cares about Lob City these days after they threw it all away? Chris Paul, Blake Griffin and even saving  Jordan before DeAndre ended up at the Garden like M.J. at his best? That’s all history Doc. He cares about Rivers that run deep. Not the air up there in LAX like the Hollywood Hills, but the grounding reality of what this game is all about. Spalding to hardwood.

Patrick Beverley doesn’t care about 10 points and 5 assists. His line or a career high. All he cares about tonight is that the box score of stats reads a W for the team he gives his blood, sweat and opponents tears for. So here’s for him, whether he cares for it or not. Like being the only player that reminds us of those golden era mined tough 90’s years. Or much like those Oakley and Mase (Rest Peacefully money) Knicks, in stark contrast the grit and grind Grizzlies that this gnarly son of an expletive-we can’t mention like the no f words given again and again in this article-would be perfect for alongside fellow defensive dog back in the day Tony Allen. He doesn’t care that there’s no one like him in a league who needs more players exactly like this. Because believe me you know who does care?

Every other player in this league who has to face him. Because face it. Like him or not he’s the realest thing to happen to this game since hand checking. So you really do have to hand it to him.

But if you don’t? Guess what we don’t give?

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NBA

Clippers’ nacho-eating Lou Williams collection a viral masterpiece

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Clippers Nacho Eating Lou Williams A Viral Masterpeice

When your name is Lou Williams nothing is out of reach.

Exhibit A — casually rescue your team from a 31-point hole to set an NBA playoff and Los Angeles Clippers franchise record for the largest comeback victory — defeating the defending champs Golden State Warriors 135-131 in one of the few remaining games in a building where post-season victories rarely comeby.

Exhibit B — Continuing the 36-point, 11-assist double-double by double-dipping on a large nacho-platter in the Warriors visiting room whilst cooling out the knees to funny social media memes of historic events that just transpired.

Exhibit C — casually show-up in eating nachos on infamous masterpiece paintings such as Leonardo Da Vinci’s “The Last Supper” or casually Sunday afternoon chilling on George Seurat’s oil on canvas island of La Grand Jatte from 1884.

  • Clippers Nacho Eating Lou Williams A Viral Masterpeice
    Clippers’ Nacho Eating Lou Williams Leonardo da Vinci Last Supper
  • Clippers Nacho Eating Lou Williams Sunday Afternoon Island La Grande Jatte
    Clippers’ Nacho Eating Lou Williams Sunday Afternoon Island La Grande Jatte
  • Clippers Nacho Eating Lou Williams Collection Edward Hopper Nighthawks
    Clippers’ Nacho Eating Lou Williams Collection Edward Hopper Nighthawks
  • Clippers Nacho Eating Lou Williams Collection Vincent Van Gogh The Night Cafe
    Clippers’ Nacho Eating Lou Williams Collection Vincent Van Gogh The Night Cafe
  • Clippers Nacho Eating Lou Williams Collection Christinas World
    Clippers’ Nacho Eating Lou Williams Collection Christina’s World
  • Clippers Nacho Eating Lou Williams Collection Edvard Munch The Scream
    Clippers’ Nacho Eating Lou Williams Collection Edvard Munch The Scream
  • Clippers Nacho Eating Lou Williams Collection Grant Wood American Gothic
    Clippers’ Nacho Eating Lou Williams Collection Grant Wood American Gothic

@LAClippers’ nacho-eating Lou Williams masterpiece collection

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