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At This Point I Wouldn’t Even Trade Alex Caruso For Anthony Davis

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At This Point I Wouldn’t Even Trade Alex Caruso For Anthony Davis
Carusin' For A Brusin'

Just Carusin’

Making even King LeBron dance, like the blowing in the ear, air guitar Lance. New Andre Ingram G to big league sensation Alex Caruso hit big again last night. Just like his off the rim put back, ‘put him in next year’s slam contest’ dunk from the last game against the Warriors that put everyone off the bench and on their feet.

Is it too harsh to call him the ‘Bald Mamba’?! Dude this writer with thinner hair than his own arms feels your pain.

Maybe the ‘tached Mamba?!

Either way this kid needs a new nickname because it’s no longer the sound of The Ringer’s, “hey what’s up man, I’m Alex” joke.

Garbage time in the NBA means a lot more to hoop head purists than it does to those clock watching like 4.25 on your Dolly Parton shift, or looking like a Kardashian sat courtside in Tinseltown for the glitterball paparazzi. And the Lakers have had a lot of trash time and talk to throw out lately. After being eliminated by the guy they said couldn’t lead two weeks back when D’Angelo Russell took his Brooklyn Nets one step closer to the playoffs, the Lakers last run of games have arguably been for nil. Especially with everyone losing on purpose for the big tank that is Duke Zion. But no. Not the Lakers though. They’ve been playing for pride. Like they’ve still got a horse in this race (as much as I’m against that sport, especially this weekend). Like they could still sow a playoff seed. Even with James getting ready for ‘Space Jam 2’ and shutting it down for the season after playing through the pain. Only a King can invent an injury like “load management”. But all joking aside it’s time to honour all he has carried on his back and broad shoulders in Hollywood, even with this blockbuster flop of a season.

‘Bron joins the young core likes of Brandon Ingram, Kyle Kuzma, Josh Hart and Lonzo Ball in suit and gifted necklaces on the catwalk that is courtside. Four guys who along with the rest of this teams future and a couple of memes were Magic offered up out of a top hat for New Orleans Pelican Anthony Davis. All for not even one white rabbit to follow. As the only thing that disappeared was this teams chemistry adding splinters in the bench insult to the injuries that already took this team from a fourth seed who could even finish off the Warriors without their King, to one who took it in the groin. But the chemistry is back now like fourth period after biology and physics. As this garbage time has helped cement this team like covering up a landfill, or the mess all that “Magic” made, as this unit has swept up and cleaned up house together without having to give anyone else up like being Rick rolled.

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Apart from Ivica Zubac. Sniff. We miss ‘Zu.

But last night as this now Clipper stared down Mike Muscala and his old Lakers at STAPLES as the home team, the Lakers vowed to not learn from their Russell and Randle mistakes yet again in this karmic season as they showed the cross-court Clippers this was their house too and first. L.A. was the Laker way again. All day. As they took back the series with a 122-117 win to help close out a close call of a season. And this clock eating time got you to spend some with some more Lake Show stopping talents. Like the big man dunking and blocking spring that has been McGee all season. Or K.C.P. who from three has turned into the last ball on the contest shooting rack.

But the only thing just as promising as the Lakers future with their young core and the numbers they pick on the lottery (hello number 1), is their two-way development of G-League players. A serious hoops hotbed league of Gatorade ready to go off the bench talent. We’ve already seen the 10 days they’ve offered to heroes from the South Bay like ‘Dre. And rooks like the hopping and hooping Johnathan Williams are showing and earning their pay that their time to clock in for more is coming too like the ticking hand. But how about Alex Caruso? A.C. is keeping it fresh like Laker legend Green. Alex can create for himself, hustle hard to the basket and find his own shot. But give him the open lane or town for a big bucket, he’s either going to throw it up or put it down with a highlight reel worthy of this Hollywood. The kid who does all the dirty work has that flash. A.C. is fresher than air conditioning. And last night he rewrote another career high with 32 points and 10. Save the 10 days. Give this young future of the show a full 82. Like last nights commentator channeling his inner ‘Django Unchained’ and waltzing with Christophe, “that’s a bingo”!

Punch this kids ticket. There’s more than one way to make it in this league like a draft of wind. The time and tide is changing to a new forecast in So Cal.

Even this Laker fan a couple of months ago when the team was trying to find an open roster spot for legend and LeBron friend Carmelo Anthony was ignorantly saying, “just get rid of one of those two-way South Bay guys”. But now Caruso over Carmelo, I eat those words like ice in the front offices glass of water with a fizzing Alka Seltzer for that elimination. At this point I wouldn’t even trade Anthony Davis for this guy.

Hey man, this is Alex.

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NBA

Jared Dudley Is The Lakers Unsung Hero

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jared dudley is the lakers unsung hero
No Dud...

There’s a hero that could save us in Hollywood right now.

And I ain’t talking about The King.

Or the Brow to ‘Bron in A.D. and his best since Shaq and Kobe dynamic duo combining for 70 like one off Elgin Baylor’s career high.

I ain’t talking about Kuz. Canada’s champ Danny Green from downtown purple and gold. Or the redemption reunion of Superman returns Dwight Howard in the hash-tag “Washed King’s” revenge season.

I ain’t even talking about the bald identity of my hero the Alex Caruso show this time.

I’m talking about Jared Dudley people.

Wait…what the?!

Yeah I said it!

Not the same Jared that got replaced by Joaquin as The Joker. Not the same Dudley that got nut checked by Shaquille O’Neal on the Knicks before lamely quarterback pitch throwing the ball after him on the inbound technical (we didn’t think centers apart from Shaq could pass like that). Or the same J.D. that like going with Coke welcomed us to Atlanta with Ludacris. But just Jared.

Yeah right…”just”.

You may think the former Brooklyn boy fan favourite owns the last roster spot that should have gone to a blazing Carmelo. Or still a free agent Jamal Crawford (even a J.R. Smith?!). A spot reserved for Andre Igudola once he gets out of contract hell. Or even a South Bay call-up for legendary names in young Lakers like Antetokounmpo, Stockton and Payton II. And let’s not forget the one Ingram they didn’t trade in the Grey Mamba ‘dre.

And with that headband over his shaved dome you may think the guy who Balenciaga bigger than Basketball looks the part in the players only catwalk runway to the stadium for his fashion fit drip looks like he’ll definitely be in ‘Bron’s ‘Space Jam’ sequel too. That’s all for your insults folks (“baldy?!”). But with that number ten to go with the head check he kind of looks like a less ripped version of a former King that used to kill the Lakers…and that’s no insult to J.D. Have you see Mike Bibby these days? He really is a unit.

But to me he looks like one of those bench energy guys who lifts the whole team in the mould of a Rony Turiaf or ‘Mad Dog’ Mark Madsen. Even if his time on the pine is more than on the hardwood. He still has his Laker legend like that photoshopped number 10 next to James and Davis for the new big three, tongue in cheek.

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And speaking of that number ten you just may see that jersey in the seats of STAPLES almost as much as the King’s 23. Why you ask. Are fans waiting until A.D. adds a King’s 2 to his 3 as LeBron carries the 6? Was there a sale? An in-game giveaway like that Shaq City Edition being on everyones seats pregame for its debut in L.A.?

No!

It’s because Dudley has literally been gifting his number ten signature to almost everyone (hello!) whose asked this season on Twitter and it isn’t even Christmas yet. What a statement. And if you thought that was a grand gesture then half of these people in the stands in tens are there because Jared has personally left comp tickets waiting for them for games at will call (the other half probably just in thanks). Not just at STAPLES…but on the road too. Now how’s that for player power? Reaching out to fans in precarious positions, with problems when it comes to getting to games, or even those whose lifelong dream was just to see Hollywood’s Lakers live and in living colour one time.

He’s done it countless. More times than the 23 and 2 team to start their best season since the year 2000 have won.

Now how about that? You love to see it. Right now no one does more for the fans than the people’s champ Jared Dudley.

When he gets his ring it won’t be from riding coattails, but giving his all, everything.

And let’s not forget the heart and hustle he puts down on the floor every night his box score doesn’t read DNP-CD for a second, or minute of time. He’s got a decent shot on him too. Even if it looks more awkward than me on dates…it works.

Let’s see more from Dudley.

The Lake Show are the Hollywood story of the season. But we all know when it comes to the script from the Basketball God’s you need your character actors as much as the academy of award winners. And if Jared Dudley really is the Lakers unsung hero in L.A. like Denis Irwin was for Manchester United (know your history) it’s time to hit the high notes and shoot our shot like he does his.

Now is this enough for me to get a jersey Jared?

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NBA

DO Call It A Carmelo Comeback. Anthony Is Guaranteed For Years

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carmelo anthony signs guarantee contract with portland trail blazers
Back From The Dead In RIP City...

Three fingers like “what’s your poison” and shots to the dome like LL Cool J’s comeback. I’m calling it…

La La said knock you out.

They say there are no guarantees in this life, or league. But now after almost crossing off an entire calender, Carmelo Anthony has one in this league of X and O’s.

You best believe every team that slept on him has woke up now.

O.K. Thunder? Like old New York. No ‘Melo in Lakers yellow, or Houston’s problem.

And let’s not talk about that ATL jersey Atlanta tried to hawk.

The Nugget type of fellow that Nelly rapped about like ‘Na-Nana-Na’, with the heart of a champion sweat until he was no longer in a suit and part of the Sportscenter theme again. After waiting longer to align with The King in Hollywood for this Game Of Thrones than another Anthony (Davis), Carmelo ended up coming up roses in the RIP City of Portland. And boy has he blazed a trail. Voltron forming arguably a big three with the best backcourt in the league not in this nation’s capital with C.J. McCollum and Dame ‘Time’ Lillard with the look like the OK3 of Russell Westbrook and PG3 and not the Beard and the Brow.

And now he’s exceeded everyone’s greatest expectations. As one of the G.O.A.T.’s has polished his path to the Hall with a comeback even better than the return of Superman Dwight Howard with the Lakers…which could have had a Hollywood sequel with Carmelo’s comeback.

But the Lakers loss is the PDX’s blazing gain.

What more would you expect from a guy who still put up competent averages in the soaring Rockets cosmos, despite being grounded by little court acclaim? The problems in Houston could have actually been attributed to another guy who ended up ousted and in an Oklahoma home too. Despite the trolls who are now trading in hot takes like they never simulated 2K videos of him building a Commodore house with his shot selection. Or the analysts who are changing their discussion like a report rewrite.

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Carmelo ain’t calming down. Anthony is taking everyone back to school.

Class has been in session.

And how about the report card? Eight games. 16.9 points and 5.9 rebounds per game. Big shots. Western Conference Player of the Week. All Star legend spot? He belongs like the Carushow in the Slam Dunk Contest. He’s unstoppable like LeBron James’ Eurostep, spin-cycle lay-up that is like a runaway freight…word to Denzel Washington. Or his Kareem sky-hook. Tokyo 2020 Team USA bid for the best in five rings Olympic legend in his golden age? Big shots from the double 0 like seven. From nothing twice?! This is no time to die Mr. Bond.

He’s gone toe-to-shot with the MVP. Showed he was more than a most imported or Sixth Man, but still a star. More than the name, but the actual game. And now he’s guaranteed to be around for a while longer like he never left, but is here to stay. As the Blazers changed the trail on the end of the signature of his contract before the ink even dried for this guy’s with the wet jumper like staying outside in the snow with your ugly NBA sweater this Christmas.

This tax is more than a luxury. It’s about to cap off a classic career with one compelling closing chapter.

Even when he bit career highs at the core of his career in the Big Apple, the ever humble hero Carmelo was a walking and dribbling, “I just take it one game (or day) at a time” postgame soundbite like he has been in his comeback off court to on it. Well now the Blazers can guarantee him 365…or at least 82 or however far he takes them.

From the headband to the hoodie, stay ‘Melo. Anthony is here to stay.

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