King of New York for a day! Or with all the King’s men in L.A.?
Houston…we have a buyout. Who knows where former billionaire Basketball club boy Carmelo Anthony will end up. But one thing’s for sure. His time with the Houston Rockets is all about over before it even had chance to take off like, “Go for main engine start”.
‘Melo is about to be waived in what already seems like a foregone conclusion, but should be quicker than Coach D’Antoni’s presser response to a reporter asking him if the cold he caught was the same thing Anthony had. To which he quickly and curtly responded with as much droll, “it’s going round…and you’re not funny by the way” (in what actually makes for the funniest press conference since the one in the Queen biography movie ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ where Freddie Mercury was ducking and dodging questions about his health. Whereas the Ringo of the band John Deacon (played perfectly by who else but Joseph Mazzello…’Human Piece Of Toast”, Tim from ‘Jurassic Park’) openly admitted he had been suffering from the flu if anyone was interested. Or when LeBron stormed out in suit shorts, shades and a handbag like suitcase following J.R. Smith’s open arms, Game 1 gaff, delay of play). And whilst all this is STILL being dragged out longer than new Sixer Jimmy Butler’s service to player power revolt, Carmelo Anthony’s Hall of Fame name is being dragged through the mud by everyone who isn’t throwing him under the team bus.
Just two years ago in Rio. Olympic ‘Melo. The Gold Medal three-peat legend was being praised for being an amazing athlete on sports and arguably basketball today’s biggest stage. For all the Dream Team talent he was surrounded with. Durant, Draymond (oh hey guys! You want to talk about being a bad teammate people? Don’t pass on this like Kobe!) and Klay just to name a few Warriors for the boys from Brazil. It was the Ant-Man not named Anthony Davis, Carmelo himself who was a nightmare for the opposition. Putting everything away, whilst other human torches (hello Mr. Thompson) burnt out like the Olympic flame during it’s four year hiatus (passive aggressive sure I’m sorry. But don’t those quotes tell you to fight fire with exactly that?). If there was an MVP this ‘Player Of The Tournament’ would have got it.
But today memes are going round like GIFs on Facebook feeds hungry for what’s funny, of fake Ticketmaster “prove you’re not a robot” captcha’s of a basketball backboard stating, “click every panel where Carmelo Anthony’s three pointers land”. With every board but the basket ticked. Alright…I’ll admit it, I stifled a laugh. I’m sorry. But it just means the jokes funny, not necessarily the subject.
Just a year ago. People where going Stan HAM for the going hard in the gym, basket to basket “Hoodie ‘Melo”. So much so Nike incorporated it in it’s on court practice apparel. And not just for the man joining Russell Westbrook and Paul George for a OK3 big-three in Oklahoma City for the Thunder, which ended up more umbrella than reign. Even video games in this 2K age made a hooded Carmelo in the game like EA’s NBA Live.
But now on the same internet that’s trolling one of the greats when it’s not debating where he’ll land like a roll of the dice on a Monopoly board, video game videos are being made of him bricking every shot in sight. Open or otherwise. As the captions range from, “live footage of ‘Melo in a Rockets jersey” to stuff far more disrespectful. But remember as much as you gamers wish it was, that s### ain’t real.
The jersey joke shared between the team Anthony never played for, the Atlanta Hawks and him was light hearted and in good sport of humour, not truth in jest. But this…THIS is more than the shame of never seeing him getting his talons into suiting up with Vince Carter and soaring with the fellow father time, still going strong legend in the A. This is getting out of hand. Sure the Rockets have had a tad failure to launch this season like when McConaughey still did rom-coms before ‘True Detective’ and ‘Lincoln Lawyer’s’ showed up with a subpoena and number 15 can’t quite take off like he used to. But Houston’s problems are more than one man. Harden isn’t having an MVP year like his last…yet. CP3 is getting slower with age. And this team lost the most underrated X-Factor in the history of the L, Trevor Ariza. But to call Carmelo a cancer? You really going to scapegoat someone who may not be a G.O.A.T. but is pretty close to that barn?
For one. He wasn’t born in July. It was a day in late May. Which makes him a Gemini. Some say that Zodiac sign makes you two-faced. But my sister’s a Gemini and a former flame too, so say something. And I’m a Cancer too. But let’s stop using in the name of health such a destructive and dark word for something like the love of the game or human nature. Like being called toxic in a Twitter trolling trend of that being actual toxicity in itself. When you don’t know all the facts perhaps it’s time to reassess and not retweet. You have no idea what this sort of stuff does to people. We hold court in defending music and movie stars no matter how they act, so why are ballplayers fair game? Are they supposed to be made of tougher stuff? Haven’t we already addressed this toxic masculinity? Have we not learned from he heart of Kevin Love? Wasn’t it ‘World Kindness Day’ yesterday? Hash-tag, you have to like that.
And it’s more than this mere writer coming to social media defence of ‘Melo against all the memes and actual cancerous comments. From Draft class wine friends, retirement tour Dwyane Wade to still in his prime, LeBron James in retweet with emoji comment. Even mouthpiece commentator Steven “CAPITAL A” Smith is preaching positivity. Don’t fall for this guy being made the fall guy. Even if everyone in Houston and the surrounding areas has a problem. Sometimes like every relationship, people, or maybe even circumstances aren’t a good fit in that moment. Sometimes it’s just not the right time. It’s not a sign to give way to giving up right into hate (again…he’s no cancer…in more ways than one. He even once brought a damn car for Christmas for an actual cancer patient). Especially where there was once love there. Parting ways can be amicable and more than ‘for the social media, press impressing’, kind words and tweets of well wishes. Which are for at least one thing better than the other way it all troll scrolls and Twitter spirals out of self-control. Did we forget what happened in the ATL following his short Jermaine and Luda welcome to Atlanta? Passing through like it was a short stopover, crossover connection at Hartsfield-Jackson airport, before taking off again.
But where will ‘Melo land? Portland and Philly (now if you think Anthony’s bad for a team but Butler is a great serve, then maybe we all need to take a stop, look and think again approach to these big ballers) are interested. Miami maybe too, with Wade for the first and one last time? Or is there room for him in the King’s Hollywood castle as a Los Angeles Laker as the franchise wanted two summers back? Failing to lure the free agent with a Spider-Man narrated Marvel of a video pitch (The Petey Spidey in question being, Tobey Maguire. Wrong Parker, Peter…now if you want to talk toxic that guys really something. You seen Jessica Chastain’s ‘Molly’s Game’? Yeah, read the real book. Michael Cera’s character is actually him). But in joining the man he was drafted alongside (save Darko) like “whose better” (sure, like Chris Rock said about “whose better”? Prince or Michael Jackson? “Prince won” like the King who dressed up as him one Halloween), with two teams that even traded up on their threads for these new identities. The New York legend who didn’t skip college to cut down nets with Syracuse years before joining other orangemen, could follow hometown hero Tyson Chandler and be a part of this great youth/veteran mix shaping up in Los “Ageless”. Being another former All-Star option like Stephenson, Beasley and Rondo (they didn’t believe Rajon’s comments about CP3 did they? So why the bad press for his (former) teammate?) that could help mentor the Ingram, Kuzma, Hart and Ball future of the club. Hey, the Denver (you remember the Nelly lyric, “I’m a Nugget type of fellow/I push the Carmelo”? THAT’S how long ago it was) and Knick legend could even end up back in New York like Iverson in Philly. Answering the end of his career back. Kissing the 76ers logo a fond farewell. Part of this writers New York vacation tradition in his twenties was to check in to a hotel a walk across the road in a bathrobe away from Madison Square Garden and check out Carmelo and the N.Y.K. (so much so I’ve lost count on how many times I’ve been…Knicks AND New York). Let’s give this guy a year removed from being the greatest Knick since King or Ewing one more chance like B.I.G. He may actually just come off the bench, but he’ll play his role like a superstar. Sure Tracy McGrady says he should just retire. But T-Mac knows all about the troubles of fading into father-time. Once trying to attempt his own comeback with the Lakers again. He should sympathize. This guy may get bounced around and for sure the clocks ticking. But did you forget what he’s like with the ball in a buzzer beating situation like that?
Is Howard’s End In Hollywood?
Kobe Bryant mouths this whilst shaking his head in dissing dismay from the baseline whilst staring down Dwight Howard on the other half of the court. Now a Houston Rocket the less than perfect pair have a problem…and it’s all getting flagrant.
Once upon a time in Hollywood with Mike D’Antoni running the show with an ageing Steve Nash, Hollywood’s Laker reality show was playing fantasy, legendary name Basketball again like the time they brought in late in their career legends like Karl Malone and Gary Payton to help raise banners like the point of Kareem Abdul-Jabbar or logo of Jerry West. But when they picked up Magic man Dwight Howard who even took Orlando’s Mickey Mouse kingdom on his broad back all the way to the Finals against the Lakers, they expected D12 and KB24 to be the new generation Shaq and Kobe. After all Dwight Howard was a man of steel too.
And oh how they were Shaq and Kobe 2…but in completely all the wrong way. It turned out to be Batman vs Superman without the dawn of a justice league, or even their mothers having the same name. Kobe’s beef with Dwight made his repaired relationship with Shaq look like Japanese cows without the massage and feeding rituals that make their Mamba city namesakes cuts the best in the business…now served in Shaquille’s restaurant with more onion rings. And when they met the following season after the death of another dynasty to be, this time Dwight was the little red corvette and Kobe the brick wall unable to be felled or floored like the one in Berlin. Baptizing him like that time in Orlando with his most dynamic dunk.
Since going from the Orlando Magic to Magic smiles in Hollywood Howard has switched more teams than your 2K partner when you’ve already picked to play as the Lakers. He’s also received his fair share of off court and locker room problems including some chemistry cancer concerns. And even in this off-season, either looking to make some headlines or free agent publicity stunts he’s come out and said he’d be open to returning to the Lakers (…erm) and that Kobe was right (he already knows).
Now most in Lakerland laughed at the social media scoffed idea. Especially with a front-court force more formidable than anything the association has to offer, lead by new big man legend Anthony Davis. Following in the sneaker steps of Mikan, Wilt, Kareem, Shaq and Pau to truly be the new Shaq and Kobe with King LeBron James. But when his old New Orleans Pelicans reunited Wildcat brother DeMarcus Cousins went down with another season threatening injury last week the Lakers were forced to look elsewhere already, like filling out their final roster spot with Andre Igudola was a ring of last week’s past, or Carmelo was one long rumored Anthony never meant to be. Bursting the banana boat like a CP3 nix.
And although the Lakers have been linked with the arc of Joakim Noah or the Zaza land of Pachulia and with plenty of other big assets still on the market like Marcin Gortat or Amir Johnson, will we see Dwight Howard eating tacos and yelling with LeBron on Twitter this Tuesday as we all unfollow like too many tweets (my bad)? Bringing Howard back to Hollywood seems sillier than bringing the LaVar Ball show back to this Kardashian town. Because besides they already have the all dunking and blocking JaVale McGee who is worthy of a start with James (42) clapping like throwing up chalk. All as this hair blown out center throws it down again and again, coast to coast in California. But apparently there’s a mutual interest…what is this Tinder? Will this just be the makings of another Michael Beasley or make ’em dance Lance Stephenson meme team? Still the Lakers need more in reserve and Dwight needs this for his revenge to the past years that have taken his career from the red caped sun to being newspaper fodder to each cities equivalent of the Daily Planet. Time to rewrite all those who wrote you off Jimmy Olsen.
Read all about it, at the end of press next week Dwight Howard could be a Los Angeles Laker yet again.
News just in…I can’t believe I’m writing this.
Who would of thought it?
Certainly not Kobe.
But it’s the King’s town now.
And after all in this LeBron ‘Space Jam’ scripted season for the Los Angeles Lakers you know Hollywood loves a redemption story too.
Boogie’s Productions Down Again
Cousins injured again…we can’t relate to that.
When former Sacramento star and New Orleans Pelican DeMarcus Cousins joined the Kevin Durant, Steph Curry, Klay Thompson and Draymond Green Golden State Warriors to begin last season critics dubbed this superteam unfair.
What was unfair however was the ACL injury that kept Boogie sidelined for most of the season and then the quad injury on top of that in the playoffs that made sure the Warriors wouldn’t be dancing in their final chapter in Golden State.
But as D.C. made a Cali move too like the Dubs across the Golden Gate to San Francisco, heading to LeBron’s Lakerland with former frontcourt friend Anthony Davis, what was really unfair is what’s just come out of a practice run this week.
Cousins has tore his ACL again in a horrible twist of fate.
This games God’s people.
When DeMarcus reunited with the same former New Orleans big man that rocked his jersey in beautiful All Star tribute a couple of seasons back when they briefly flew together as Pelicans this Summer, the Lakers furthered their favourite status like tapping that heart on Twitter. Even if the Clippers ended up being the ones that got Kawhi Leonard…and Paul George too for the new battle of Los Angeles, raging against the Lakers Hollywood machine, the Lake Show have the ‘Space Jam 2’ of the King and the ‘brow. Not to mention the difference maker like rising star Kyle Kuzma in the veteran one of Cousins.
Either one of them will blow, or both, as the other will show he’s still got it. Giving the West’s best the biggest force of an interchangeable frontcourt. As the Lakers could either go with the more muscle version of a Tim Duncan and David Robinson twin towers in the Pelican reunited Kentucky Wildcats of Davis and Cousins and ‘Bron. Or the most dynamic duo since Shaq and Kobe of James and A.D. and the one young core star who didn’t get switched for this franchise player in Kuz, who could form a big three if the injured Cousins isn’t already still a part of one. Despite the writing off medical report.
And we haven’t even got to his Kentucky alumni Rajon Rondo led backcourt, or last year’s all dunking and blocking big headband and hair spark JaVale McGee. A gym rat who re-upped after almost going for both the Defensive Player Of The Year and Most Improved Player award in the first month of last seasons 82 campaign.
The Lakers are going to need him and that first wind of last year now more than ever.
Or the California club have some decisions to make for who to put in purple and gold for their almost meant to be final roster spot (DON’T AMNESTY!). Do they still wait for another former Warrior in Sixth Man, defensive legend Andre Igudola? Or do they leave him and the long rumoured other Anthony in Carmelo and pick up another big? Guys like Nené, Amir Johnson, Joakim Noah, Kenneth Faried, Zaza Pachulia and Marcin Gortat are still on the market like fresh fruit stalls. And even Dwight Howard of all people have expressed (more like blatantly begged for publicity) for a return to Lakerland after his Hollywood divorce.
Because we have no idea when Boogie will be back. Or if he will even be the same player when he returns. Or if he even was before this injury happened. But despite history rewriting so many careers crippled by injury we still believe. We still believe he has superstar status and could be the X-factor difference maker when he returns late in the game to this Hollywood scripted rivalry like he almost was last season in the Finals against Toronto as he flips it. You saw him almost become a Splash Brother with that three, so just you wait until you see him downtown in STAPLES this season when it’s all said and buzzer beater done.
The bridge is far from over.
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