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The Lakers Big Three-Headed Blocking Monster



The Lakers Big Three-headed Blocking Monster
A.D. Is In Your Way...

Mikan to Kareem. Wilt to Shaq. Even Divac to Gasol. The Lakers are known for the Showtime of their Hall of Fame big man legend. Featuring more sevens than Lamar Odom’s closet…and he’s one of them too. The generational legacy continues with Anthony Davis this year and another big name who once wanted to be an even bigger part of this legendary lineage like a young Andrew Bynum.

But this is getting ridiculous.

Try and bring your watercolors into the Lakers paint this season and your brushes may turn into bristles as the Lakers have their own big-three in their three-headed blocking monster on defence.

With Ant Davis, the return and hopefully redemption of Dwight Howard and last year’s X-factor, dunk to block in the energy of JaVale McGee, the King has all his monsters like Godzilla. Just call them Ghidorah.

LeBron may be the King and the Kuzma the young Fresh (Puma) Prince in line, but AD3 (for now…we’re talking digits here) is the Shaq to James’ Kobe for one of the West and Baylor/Wilt, Magic and Kareem most dynamic duos of all-time. Not just in storied Laker, but league history. The new signing who the Lakers lost the whole Lonzo (as he and A.D. swapped white tee under vests), Ingram and Hart young core house for (like Eddie Jones and Nick Van Exel back in the ’96 day) is one of the biggest difference makers in the NBA this season. Just like he will be if he remains a free agent next Summer which he is adamant on right now. But more of a concern for the Chicago centre of attention and the best Power Forward in the game right now is working on his 3 ball and a personal goal in wanting to become the 2019/2020 campaigns ‘Defensive Player Of The Year’.

He already has what last season LeBron termed “the conversation” when it comes to that category in JaVale McGee backing him up. The 7 whose epic gym to floor, weight room, muscled up energy made him the best Laker out of the gates last season on the emphatic ends of both coasts of the court. Swatting his way to his own slams. He’s been impressing this off-season too now media day has given way to training camp, pulling more tricks out of his fashionable fanny pack after pipping fellow young core traded and now cross-court Clipper Ivica Zubac to the post and deciding to sign on for another go-round, even with the biggest acquisition in the Lakers middle.

He will probably start in that spot though next to AD3 at the four. Especially with the crippling blow to Davis’ former Big Easy teammate DeMarcus Cousins. The once next Sampson and Olajuwon, Duncan and Robinson ‘Twin Towers’ in line, which one/two punch looked league best just a season or so ago. But after that preseason pain the Lakers decided to bring back a familiar face to jam fill that donut and plug the artery gap. Yet for all the Russell’s and Randle’s the Lakers were linked too, they brought back Dwight Howard of all people. Remember him purple and gold? But now everyone in Hollywood who thought the Kardashian like reality show we have suffered through before left with the Ball family father has got over this initial shock-like thinking that was Biff’s tarantula on top of Howard’s head-the big bruising bully of a center actually looks like a decent pick-up.

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Talking about a humble comeback focused on what the team needs the three time DPOY to do in however many minutes he plays. Rocking the 39 like there was no other number in the rest of that tier left up there in the retired rafters, as he looks to join that thirty-something legendary company once more. And judging from him being the King and Coaches most impressive standout from training camp this tall side of Avery Bradley, it looks like Dwight will make it right and Howard’s end is here to stay in L.A. Like those front-page newspapers and Beverly Hill hotel fronts looked to do back in the day when he was a free agent rocketing off to Houston like Westbrook. Some real estate space that’s probably going to be rented in order to coax Davis into a permanent home with the number 23 next year.

But the scarier thing than seeing the dunking Dwight back in Lake Show colors is the fact that in tandem Coach Vogel may place the twin blocking bigs of Howard and McGee next to A.D. for a big line-up down the stretch that may even see forward Kuzma playing at the guard he looks like and LeBron finally making his point at running the show from basketball’s quarterback position.

Add this with vets like Rondo, KCP and your boy Caruso back. Not to mention pick-ups like defensive dog Avery Bradley alongside big role playing back-ups like reigning Raptor champion Danny Green, Quinn Cook, Troy Daniels and Jared Dudley (and let’s not to forget the mini-freak of Kostas Antetokounmpo), then the Lakers may just have the best defensive team in the league-let alone one as a complete whole-starting upfront.

And just wait until Cousins joins this front-court family officially for his Davis Pelican fly by New Orleans reunion.

Now how many heads will grow back in their place if you manage to cut off just one of the King’s men in this season were crowns will roll?

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Jared Dudley Is The Lakers Unsung Hero



jared dudley is the lakers unsung hero
No Dud...

There’s a hero that could save us in Hollywood right now.

And I ain’t talking about The King.

Or the Brow to ‘Bron in A.D. and his best since Shaq and Kobe dynamic duo combining for 70 like one off Elgin Baylor’s career high.

I ain’t talking about Kuz. Canada’s champ Danny Green from downtown purple and gold. Or the redemption reunion of Superman returns Dwight Howard in the hash-tag “Washed King’s” revenge season.

I ain’t even talking about the bald identity of my hero the Alex Caruso show this time.

I’m talking about Jared Dudley people.

Wait…what the?!

Yeah I said it!

Not the same Jared that got replaced by Joaquin as The Joker. Not the same Dudley that got nut checked by Shaquille O’Neal on the Knicks before lamely quarterback pitch throwing the ball after him on the inbound technical (we didn’t think centers apart from Shaq could pass like that). Or the same J.D. that like going with Coke welcomed us to Atlanta with Ludacris. But just Jared.

Yeah right…”just”.

You may think the former Brooklyn boy fan favourite owns the last roster spot that should have gone to a blazing Carmelo. Or still a free agent Jamal Crawford (even a J.R. Smith?!). A spot reserved for Andre Igudola once he gets out of contract hell. Or even a South Bay call-up for legendary names in young Lakers like Antetokounmpo, Stockton and Payton II. And let’s not forget the one Ingram they didn’t trade in the Grey Mamba ‘dre.

And with that headband over his shaved dome you may think the guy who Balenciaga bigger than Basketball looks the part in the players only catwalk runway to the stadium for his fashion fit drip looks like he’ll definitely be in ‘Bron’s ‘Space Jam’ sequel too. That’s all for your insults folks (“baldy?!”). But with that number ten to go with the head check he kind of looks like a less ripped version of a former King that used to kill the Lakers…and that’s no insult to J.D. Have you see Mike Bibby these days? He really is a unit.

But to me he looks like one of those bench energy guys who lifts the whole team in the mould of a Rony Turiaf or ‘Mad Dog’ Mark Madsen. Even if his time on the pine is more than on the hardwood. He still has his Laker legend like that photoshopped number 10 next to James and Davis for the new big three, tongue in cheek.

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And speaking of that number ten you just may see that jersey in the seats of STAPLES almost as much as the King’s 23. Why you ask. Are fans waiting until A.D. adds a King’s 2 to his 3 as LeBron carries the 6? Was there a sale? An in-game giveaway like that Shaq City Edition being on everyones seats pregame for its debut in L.A.?


It’s because Dudley has literally been gifting his number ten signature to almost everyone (hello!) whose asked this season on Twitter and it isn’t even Christmas yet. What a statement. And if you thought that was a grand gesture then half of these people in the stands in tens are there because Jared has personally left comp tickets waiting for them for games at will call (the other half probably just in thanks). Not just at STAPLES…but on the road too. Now how’s that for player power? Reaching out to fans in precarious positions, with problems when it comes to getting to games, or even those whose lifelong dream was just to see Hollywood’s Lakers live and in living colour one time.

He’s done it countless. More times than the 23 and 2 team to start their best season since the year 2000 have won.

Now how about that? You love to see it. Right now no one does more for the fans than the people’s champ Jared Dudley.

When he gets his ring it won’t be from riding coattails, but giving his all, everything.

And let’s not forget the heart and hustle he puts down on the floor every night his box score doesn’t read DNP-CD for a second, or minute of time.

Let’s see more from Dudley.

The Lake Show are the Hollywood story of the season. But we all know when it comes to the script from the Basketball God’s you need your character actors as much as the academy of award winners. And if Jared Dudley really is the Lakers unsung hero in L.A. like Denis Irwin was for Manchester United (know your history) it’s time to hit the high notes and shoot our shot like he does his.

Now is this enough for me to get a jersey Jared?

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DO Call It A Carmelo Comeback. Anthony Is Guaranteed For Years



carmelo anthony signs guarantee contract with portland trail blazers
Back From The Dead In RIP City...

Three fingers like “what’s your poison” and shots to the dome like LL Cool J’s comeback. I’m calling it…

La La said knock you out.

They say there are no guarantees in this life, or league. But now after almost crossing off an entire calender, Carmelo Anthony has one in this league of X and O’s.

You best believe every team that slept on him has woke up now.

O.K. Thunder? Like old New York. No ‘Melo in Lakers yellow, or Houston’s problem.

And let’s not talk about that ATL jersey Atlanta tried to hawk.

The Nugget type of fellow that Nelly rapped about like ‘Na-Nana-Na’, with the heart of a champion sweat until he was no longer in a suit and part of the Sportscenter theme again. After waiting longer to align with The King in Hollywood for this Game Of Thrones than another Anthony (Davis), Carmelo ended up coming up roses in the RIP City of Portland. And boy has he blazed a trail. Voltron forming arguably a big three with the best backcourt in the league not in this nation’s capital with C.J. McCollum and Dame ‘Time’ Lillard with the look like the OK3 of Russell Westbrook and PG3 and not the Beard and the Brow.

And now he’s exceeded everyone’s greatest expectations. As one of the G.O.A.T.’s has polished his path to the Hall with a comeback even better than the return of Superman Dwight Howard with the Lakers…which could have had a Hollywood sequel with Carmelo’s comeback.

But the Lakers loss is the PDX’s blazing gain.

What more would you expect from a guy who still put up competent averages in the soaring Rockets cosmos, despite being grounded by little court acclaim? The problems in Houston could have actually been attributed to another guy who ended up ousted and in an Oklahoma home too. Despite the trolls who are now trading in hot takes like they never simulated 2K videos of him building a Commodore house with his shot selection. Or the analysts who are changing their discussion like a report rewrite.

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Carmelo ain’t calming down. Anthony is taking everyone back to school.

Class has been in session.

And how about the report card? Eight games. 16.9 points and 5.9 rebounds per game. Big shots. Western Conference Player of the Week. All Star legend spot? He belongs like the Carushow in the Slam Dunk Contest. He’s unstoppable like LeBron James’ Eurostep, spin-cycle lay-up that is like a runaway freight…word to Denzel Washington. Or his Kareem sky-hook. Tokyo 2020 Team USA bid for the best in five rings Olympic legend in his golden age? Big shots from the double 0 like seven. From nothing twice?! This is no time to die Mr. Bond.

He’s gone toe-to-shot with the MVP. Showed he was more than a most imported or Sixth Man, but still a star. More than the name, but the actual game. And now he’s guaranteed to be around for a while longer like he never left, but is here to stay. As the Blazers changed the trail on the end of the signature of his contract before the ink even dried for this guy’s with the wet jumper like staying outside in the snow with your ugly NBA sweater this Christmas.

This tax is more than a luxury. It’s about to cap off a classic career with one compelling closing chapter.

Even when he bit career highs at the core of his career in the Big Apple, the ever humble hero Carmelo was a walking and dribbling, “I just take it one game (or day) at a time” postgame soundbite like he has been in his comeback off court to on it. Well now the Blazers can guarantee him 365…or at least 82 or however far he takes them.

From the headband to the hoodie, stay ‘Melo. Anthony is here to stay.

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