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2017-2018 NBA Season Preview – Eastern Conference

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Kyrie Irving, Gordon Hayward, Danny Ainge

Atlantic Division

Toronto Raptors

If it aint broke don’t 86 it. And in the six Drake’s Toronto Raptors are still as fresh as passion fruit. The core of DeMar DeRozan, Kyle Lowry and dominant defensive presence Serge Ibaka may be the most underrated big three in the association, but if these Raptors want to roar with Warriors and Kings then they need a T-Rex. Then watch out for them, they’re about to glow

Brooklyn Nets

The Nets lost their most efficient player last year and one of the last remaining real centres in the league in Brook Lopez and got the massive contract of Timofey Mozgov in return. Oh and D’Angelo Russell. D-Lo suits this Brooklyn Zoo as well as O.D.B. but if this young, clean guy wants to win and prove everyone in Lonzo/Lavar Lakerland wrong then he needs to show that the ice in his veins runs deeper than a season of ‘Game Of Thrones’. Winter is coming and alongside another former L.A. Laker in Jeremy Lin these former Cali’ kids could see the sun again.

New York Knicks

Will ‘Melo stay? Can he really wear the hoodie in game? The former big question mark will infest the Big Apple like worms until Carmelo Anthony probably gets traded. And the only answer is Porzingis. The Knicks already lost Rose. But he was wilting anyway. Instead talent like Michael Beasley and Ramon Sessions have come on board with returning kid Tim Hardaway Jr. But the fact that we need their full names here shows just how their promising careers have panned out. It’s all on Kristaps to make the Garden eden again or at least give Broadway a run to make Carmelo think of staying a few extra dates.

Philadelphia 76ers

Did you trust the process? Because Joel Embiid has Dario Saric, Nik Stauskas and now hot shooter J.J. Redick believing in him. He and the new Sixers answering the post-Iverson era with The Process are so good they even have top draft big man Jahil Okafor on the bench and Nerlens Noel in Dallas. And now after adding another number one in Markelle Fultz they have a potential Rookie of the Year to add to this dynasty of the future. That is unless last years top pick Ben Simmons, debuting this sophomore season like Embiid did has something to say about that. Look at this teams past right now and see that they are still the future…processing.

Boston Celtics

Bill and Bird watch. The beans are back in town for the old Irish, most storied NBA franchise, the Boston Celtics. Who would have thought that when former Cavalier champion Kyrie Irving requested a trade from LeBronland that he’d end up here? But Danny Ainge has set forth a new big free of Kyrie, great free agent grab Gordon Hayward and last years big one Al Horford that could rival Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen with no b.s. Oh and we haven’t even got started on Jayson Tatum and Jaylen Brown rookies and sophomores. Look out King, history is greater than one reign.

Central Division

Cleveland Cavaliers

Hate LeBron all you like but he still has Love. Literally and figuratively. And as numero zero Kevin continues to show like fellow UCLA alumni Russell Westbrook that he is anything but that digit he wears like critical doubt, then the greatest player in the league still has help and hope. If you believe in vets like J.R. Smith, Iman Shumpert, Tristan Thompson, Kyle Korver, Channing Frye and Richard Jefferson. This team may be receeding like Jamie Foxx’s Clevelend A. Smith’s hairline, but there won’t be anything funny here come All-Star weekend. They may have lost Deron Williams from their bench, but they in turn have gained Derrick Rose and former Durant practice running mate Jeff Green. Oh and they may have lost Kyrie Irving, but they got back Westbrook dynamite like pocket dynamo Isaiah Thomas AND Jae Crowder in return which no longer makes this trade like for like. The King of the fourth next to the King of the Land. This rebrand as real as those new uniforms and shield holding court leave the Cavs still all in with everything to play for. The Eastern Conference Final may be more exciting than the actual NBA one right now, but the Celtics haven’t dethroned the Cavs yet.

Chicago Bulls

The Butler retired. Rondo never really unpacked his journeyman bags and even hometown hero Wade may be brought out soon. What a difference a season makes hey Hoidberg? At least the Bulls have…erm. Seriously all dunking Zach Lavine, Brook-twin Robin Lopez and the future love of Denzel Valentine has potential to win hearts. But unless Dwyane’s playing the only way these Bulls are at the very least stampeding towards the fourth quarter is if you play their all-time ultimate team on 2K18.

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Indiana Pacers

Paul George is officially gone. And no matter how many times they sue the Lakers that won’t change. Wink, wink. But at least before losing him to L.A. star-studded free agency they got Victor Oladipo in return from the Thunder. He joins big names like Turner, Jefferson and Sabonis whose reputations more proceed them. And then of course there’s the enigma Lance Stephenson. The George, Hill, Hibbert and West days holdover who is symbolic of this teams success/struggles. Unless he does more than blow in opponents ears this huffed and puffed house is coming down in smoke as they will choke like Reggie Miller’s symbolic clutched throat. At least the new jerseys are a win.

Detroit Pistons

Motor City is running out of gas. Andre Drummond, Reggie Jackson and Tobias Harris are the big-three group in Motown in need of some backing singers. These Bad Boys are a long way from the 80’s or even the Billups, Hamilton, Prince, Ben and Rasheed Wallace Palace days in Auburn Hills, but this production line can still churn out wins with some assembly required. Detroit needs your attention like ‘Zero Dark Thirty’ director Kathryn Bigelow’s movie.

Milwaukee Bucks

Giannis Antelokounmpo. Start spelling it right because he will be your next MVP even if he never asked Kobe Bryant for a muse cage challenge. The most versatile, five point on the court player whose like Da Kid, Kevin Garnett on 2049 android upgrade is the kind of player that makes Jabari Parker’s injury or O.J. Mayo’s ban null. Even a big free agent signing like Greg Monroe is nothing in comparison to the one Buck who can steer Kidd’s boys in the right direction. And with Gary Payton’s son under Jason, Delly and Maker this team has the makings of a contender. Sure it’s all Cavs/Celtics right now but one day they’ll fear the deer too.

Southeast

Washington Wizards

The Wizards refuse to let anyone else into Washington like their President. But the state of D.C. is in good basketball shape like the spellbinding Mystics as John Wall’s new extension will keep him a foundation in the nations capital longer than those bricks Trump wants to build. And with Beal street, Poland’s post-man Gortat and the maverick Morris still here this team will run for four more behind the cheetah J-Wall who refuses to change his spot. So what they never got hometown hero Kevin Durant! Like Kevin Spacey’s Frank Underwood, this house of guards won’t come down in the east wing anytime soon.

Miami Heat

The Heat isn’t off for Miami. As the three ‘W’ South Beach talent of Whiteside, Winslow and Waiters will get their fair share. But with Dragic in reserve this team needs to attract more free agents than Kelly Olynek and keep more of their glue guys than Udonis Haslem sticking around. Especially if they want to return to the Land the King took them before his exile. And in this world we aren’t talking about Wade but a new winner who can avoid the L’s like pedestrians.

Atlanta Hawks

Whats going on in the A? A few years ago the Hawks where flying. Now they’ll be clawing for eight seeds like crumbs in the newspaper. They couldn’t cage wayward free agent Dwight Howard who moved down the Southeast conference and haven’t found much in return to shine as bright as his smile or their neon unis. Sure they have Kent Bazemore and Dennis Schroder…but according ESPN he’s the 96th best player in the league. But remember how they rated Kobe? Don’t clip his wings just yet.

Charlotte Hornets

Charlotte looks good for more than being the only team in this new Nike league to just have Jordan’s jumpman on their jerseys. Problem or not, big-name big-man Dwight Howard joins. Kemba Walker, M.K.W. (Michael Kidd-Gilchrist), M.C.W. (Michael Carter-Williams), Nicholas Batum and Frank Kaminsky. But the comb needs more honey if its all going to be syrup like Money Michael’s jumper before the greatest of all-times ownership experiement fades away.

Orlando Magic

Speaking of one of Howard’s former teams. The only thing that fits this Mickey Mouse outfit more is their Disney jersey sponsers. The Magic Kingdom may be frozen, but once this team lets the past go like the cold isn’t bothering then anyway and lets the cool alley-oop connection of Payton and Air Gordon fly then at least basketball will be as fun in Florida as the 90’s golden age days of big Shaq and Lil’Penny. If only!

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NBA

Is Howard’s End In Hollywood?

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Is Howard's End In Hollywood

Should have bought that Dwight Howard number 12 Lakers jersey I saw in TJ Maxx for half off back in the day. Seriously though if Dwight can return to the Lake Show then there’s hope for my hairline yet…

…there’s not!

“Soft…soft!”

Kobe Bryant mouths this whilst shaking his head in dissing dismay from the baseline whilst staring down Dwight Howard on the other half of the court. Now a Houston Rocket the less than perfect pair have a problem…and it’s all getting flagrant.

Once upon a time in Hollywood with Mike D’Antoni running the show with an ageing Steve Nash, Hollywood’s Laker reality show was playing fantasy, legendary name Basketball again like the time they brought in late in their career legends like Karl Malone and Gary Payton to help raise banners like the point of Kareem Abdul-Jabbar or logo of Jerry West. But when they picked up Magic man Dwight Howard who even took Orlando’s Mickey Mouse kingdom on his broad back all the way to the Finals against the Lakers, they expected D12 and KB24 to be the new generation Shaq and Kobe. After all Dwight Howard was a man of steel too.

And oh how they were Shaq and Kobe 2…but in completely all the wrong way. It turned out to be Batman vs Superman without the dawn of a justice league, or even their mothers having the same name. Kobe’s beef with Dwight made his repaired relationship with Shaq look like Japanese cows without the massage and feeding rituals that make their Mamba city namesakes cuts the best in the business…now served in Shaquille’s restaurant with more onion rings. And when they met the following season after the death of another dynasty to be, this time Dwight was the little red corvette and Kobe the brick wall unable to be felled or floored like the one in Berlin. Baptizing him like that time in Orlando with his most dynamic dunk.

Since going from the Orlando Magic to Magic smiles in Hollywood Howard has switched more teams than your 2K partner when you’ve already picked to play as the Lakers. He’s also received his fair share of off court and locker room problems including some chemistry cancer concerns. And even in this off-season, either looking to make some headlines or free agent publicity stunts he’s come out and said he’d be open to returning to the Lakers (…erm) and that Kobe was right (he already knows).

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Now most in Lakerland laughed at the social media scoffed idea. Especially with a front-court force more formidable than anything the association has to offer, lead by new big man legend Anthony Davis. Following in the sneaker steps of Mikan, Wilt, Kareem, Shaq and Pau to truly be the new Shaq and Kobe with King LeBron James. But when his old New Orleans Pelicans reunited Wildcat brother DeMarcus Cousins went down with another season threatening injury last week the Lakers were forced to look elsewhere already, like filling out their final roster spot with Andre Igudola was a ring of last week’s past, or Carmelo was one long rumored Anthony never meant to be. Bursting the banana boat like a CP3 nix.

And although the Lakers have been linked with the arc of Joakim Noah or the Zaza land of Pachulia and with plenty of other big assets still on the market like Marcin Gortat or Amir Johnson, will we see Dwight Howard eating tacos and yelling with LeBron on Twitter this Tuesday as we all unfollow like too many tweets (my bad)? Bringing Howard back to Hollywood seems sillier than bringing the LaVar Ball show back to this Kardashian town. Because besides they already have the all dunking and blocking JaVale McGee who is worthy of a start with James (42) clapping like throwing up chalk. All as this hair blown out center throws it down again and again, coast to coast in California. But apparently there’s a mutual interest…what is this Tinder? Will this just be the makings of another Michael Beasley or make ’em dance Lance Stephenson meme team? Still the Lakers need more in reserve and Dwight needs this for his revenge to the past years that have taken his career from the red caped sun to being newspaper fodder to each cities equivalent of the Daily Planet. Time to rewrite all those who wrote you off Jimmy Olsen.

Read all about it, at the end of press next week Dwight Howard could be a Los Angeles Laker yet again.

News just in…I can’t believe I’m writing this.

Who would of thought it?

Certainly not Kobe.

But it’s the King’s town now.

And after all in this LeBron ‘Space Jam’ scripted season for the Los Angeles Lakers you know Hollywood loves a redemption story too.

Superman returns?

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NBA

Boogie’s Productions Down Again

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Boogie's Productions Down Again

Cousins injured again…we can’t relate to that.

We refuse.

When former Sacramento star and New Orleans Pelican DeMarcus Cousins joined the Kevin Durant, Steph Curry, Klay Thompson and Draymond Green Golden State Warriors to begin last season critics dubbed this superteam unfair.

What was unfair however was the ACL injury that kept Boogie sidelined for most of the season and then the quad injury on top of that in the playoffs that made sure the Warriors wouldn’t be dancing in their final chapter in Golden State.

But as D.C. made a Cali move too like the Dubs across the Golden Gate to San Francisco, heading to LeBron’s Lakerland with former frontcourt friend Anthony Davis, what was really unfair is what’s just come out of a practice run this week.

Cousins has tore his ACL again in a horrible twist of fate.

This games God’s people.

When DeMarcus reunited with the same former New Orleans big man that rocked his jersey in beautiful All Star tribute a couple of seasons back when they briefly flew together as Pelicans this Summer, the Lakers furthered their favourite status like tapping that heart on Twitter. Even if the Clippers ended up being the ones that got Kawhi Leonard…and Paul George too for the new battle of Los Angeles, raging against the Lakers Hollywood machine, the Lake Show have the ‘Space Jam 2’ of the King and the ‘brow. Not to mention the difference maker like rising star Kyle Kuzma in the veteran one of Cousins.

Either one of them will blow, or both, as the other will show he’s still got it. Giving the West’s best the biggest force of an interchangeable frontcourt. As the Lakers could either go with the more muscle version of a Tim Duncan and David Robinson twin towers in the Pelican reunited Kentucky Wildcats of Davis and Cousins and ‘Bron. Or the most dynamic duo since Shaq and Kobe of James and A.D. and the one young core star who didn’t get switched for this franchise player in Kuz, who could form a big three if the injured Cousins isn’t already still a part of one. Despite the writing off medical report.

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And we haven’t even got to his Kentucky alumni Rajon Rondo led backcourt, or last year’s all dunking and blocking big headband and hair spark JaVale McGee. A gym rat who re-upped after almost going for both the Defensive Player Of The Year and Most Improved Player award in the first month of last seasons 82 campaign.

The Lakers are going to need him and that first wind of last year now more than ever.

Or the California club have some decisions to make for who to put in purple and gold for their almost meant to be final roster spot (DON’T AMNESTY!). Do they still wait for another former Warrior in Sixth Man, defensive legend Andre Igudola? Or do they leave him and the long rumoured other Anthony in Carmelo and pick up another big? Guys like Nené, Amir Johnson, Joakim Noah, Kenneth Faried, Zaza Pachulia and Marcin Gortat are still on the market like fresh fruit stalls. And even Dwight Howard of all people have expressed (more like blatantly begged for publicity) for a return to Lakerland after his Hollywood divorce.

Yeah right…”soft”!

Because we have no idea when Boogie will be back. Or if he will even be the same player when he returns. Or if he even was before this injury happened. But despite history rewriting so many careers crippled by injury we still believe. We still believe he has superstar status and could be the X-factor difference maker when he returns late in the game to this Hollywood scripted rivalry like he almost was last season in the Finals against Toronto as he flips it. You saw him almost become a Splash Brother with that three, so just you wait until you see him downtown in STAPLES this season when it’s all said and buzzer beater done.

The bridge is far from over.

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