Hold on, we’re winning at home.
Drake and every other Raptor fan in the 6 partied until 5AM in Toronto last night as We The North won Game 1 of the 2019 NBA Finals over the dynasty of the double reigning NBA Champions the Golden State Warriors.
“They thought my s### went sour!”
That’s what the David of Sixer legend Allen Iverson told his Philadelphia faithful after stepping over Tyronn Lue and the three-point, Goliath dynasty of the Shaq and Kobe Lakers in 2001 and winning Game 1 of their NBA Finals. After a beast of an East campaign that just saw him run over and stop the Bucks of all franchises in NBA legend.
And history looks to repeat itself with a twist this year as everyone in North America bar three States is rooting for this underdog or dino of the Raptors to Klaw back against the Dubs dynasty (if only they voted like this against Trump) with arguably the greatest player of the association Kawhi Leonard on their side.
Kevin Durant or not.
DeMarcus Cousins or not.
Boogie may have been down for Game One but that hardly mattered as these Raps wrapped the game up 118-109 to draw first blood and hopefully last from their teeth like the trailer of Sly Stallone’s new ‘Rambo’ movie. The T-Dot playing Rocky after pushing Philly down the stairs after Leonard’s game winner processed the rim for about a half hour, freaked the Greek of Giannis Antetokounmpo and now they have a chance to win it all for the first time in Canadian history and any National Basketball Association franchise outside the United States.
And We The North believe.
Leonard who has been drawing Jordan comparisons from Coach Doc Rivers’ prescriptions (oh and the NBA fining him 50K for praising Kawhi on an analysis show and calling it “tampering” is ridiculous. Just saying.) had a fitting 23. The same number that Drake hash-tagged on I.G. that Dray should have never worn. But it was Pascal Siakam who was the high man with a reverse 32 for an underrated squad of big names like Lowry, Gasol, Ibaka, Lin and many more who could give these DeMarcus, Durant, Steph Curry, Draymond Green, Klay Thompson and Andre Igudola all NBA team a run for their dynasty. Put your started from the bottom Canadian dollar on it.
But this arena of the NBA Finals is still the Bays area, even if the ScotiaBank isn’t their ideal withdrawal. Steph Curry had 34 points but that was all the chef really had left in the Californian kitchen, as Pascal painted a holy court canvas as all praise was due to the man who almost became a priest before he found his other calling. In the third he was six for six in the 6 and was the dot that underlined the T’s victory over the G.S.W.
But perhaps the most frustrating factor for the invading Warriors to deal with was Canada’s version of Jack Nicholson in Hollywood courtside. Superstar rapper Drake was truly on his worst behaviour last night. A scorpion sting in the Raptors tail. If you though the Bucks had enough of us trolling block or charge then just wait until what the Warriors end up dubbing him after seven or eight games.
Nice for what as look what October’s very own did last night as Toronto finally made it to June this late May after almost a quarter-century 24 years of Vince Carter’s, Chris Bosh’s and DeMar DeRozan’s. After nursing and massaging his coaches shoulders more than Toronto’s team trainer in the last series this season, Drake went from the dry erase play calling to looking like a player or at least the Lou Will unofficial 6 Man. Rocking a jersey and armband like he was down to hoop like no one saw his infamous “Steph Curry” with the shot Kentucky practice viral Vine video.
He was feeling his game however in Steph’s dad Dell Curry’s throwback Toronto jersey from the downtown like Yonge’s days in the dot, co-signed literally by the man himself. He also covered up his number 35 Durant tattoo on his bicep with said Nike armband. Before getting in Draymond Green’s face postgame calling him trash and reacting with a smirking expression that Bleacher Report was spot on for comparing to Daenerys’ forced smile viral meme in this Game Of Thrones about to draw in that HBO viewership.
This isn’t just your regular televised program.
Those who couldn’t believe it like the Kyle Kuzma looking kid courtside better see it now. We have ourselves a series and THE season in the history of the North. Air Canada to what’s going down on the clawed bones of the hardwood right now. Sure this is so far gone from over and the Golden State Warriors are the dominant dynasty of our moment that will only sort of end after this season as they cross the Golden Gate Bridge to the Silicon Valley of San Francisco. But we still have ourselves more than just one ball game now and as the paddocks of ‘Jurassic Park’ roar with celebration outside, we’re glad it ain’t over until the Canadian rapper sings.
If you’re reading this it’s nowhere near too late.
Is Howard’s End In Hollywood?
Should have bought that Dwight Howard number 12 Lakers jersey I saw in TJ Maxx for half off back in the day. Seriously though if Dwight can return to the Lake Show then there’s hope for my hairline yet…
Kobe Bryant mouths this whilst shaking his head in dissing dismay from the baseline whilst staring down Dwight Howard on the other half of the court. Now a Houston Rocket the less than perfect pair have a problem…and it’s all getting flagrant.
Once upon a time in Hollywood with Mike D’Antoni running the show with an ageing Steve Nash, Hollywood’s Laker reality show was playing fantasy, legendary name Basketball again like the time they brought in late in their career legends like Karl Malone and Gary Payton to help raise banners like the point of Kareem Abdul-Jabbar or logo of Jerry West. But when they picked up Magic man Dwight Howard who even took Orlando’s Mickey Mouse kingdom on his broad back all the way to the Finals against the Lakers, they expected D12 and KB24 to be the new generation Shaq and Kobe. After all Dwight Howard was a man of steel too.
And oh how they were Shaq and Kobe 2…but in completely all the wrong way. It turned out to be Batman vs Superman without the dawn of a justice league, or even their mothers having the same name. Kobe’s beef with Dwight made his repaired relationship with Shaq look like Japanese cows without the massage and feeding rituals that make their Mamba city namesakes cuts the best in the business…now served in Shaquille’s restaurant with more onion rings. And when they met the following season after the death of another dynasty to be, this time Dwight was the little red corvette and Kobe the brick wall unable to be felled or floored like the one in Berlin. Baptizing him like that time in Orlando with his most dynamic dunk.
Since going from the Orlando Magic to Magic smiles in Hollywood Howard has switched more teams than your 2K partner when you’ve already picked to play as the Lakers. He’s also received his fair share of off court and locker room problems including some chemistry cancer concerns. And even in this off-season, either looking to make some headlines or free agent publicity stunts he’s come out and said he’d be open to returning to the Lakers (…erm) and that Kobe was right (he already knows).
Now most in Lakerland laughed at the social media scoffed idea. Especially with a front-court force more formidable than anything the association has to offer, lead by new big man legend Anthony Davis. Following in the sneaker steps of Mikan, Wilt, Kareem, Shaq and Pau to truly be the new Shaq and Kobe with King LeBron James. But when his old New Orleans Pelicans reunited Wildcat brother DeMarcus Cousins went down with another season threatening injury last week the Lakers were forced to look elsewhere already, like filling out their final roster spot with Andre Igudola was a ring of last week’s past, or Carmelo was one long rumored Anthony never meant to be. Bursting the banana boat like a CP3 nix.
And although the Lakers have been linked with the arc of Joakim Noah or the Zaza land of Pachulia and with plenty of other big assets still on the market like Marcin Gortat or Amir Johnson, will we see Dwight Howard eating tacos and yelling with LeBron on Twitter this Tuesday as we all unfollow like too many tweets (my bad)? Bringing Howard back to Hollywood seems sillier than bringing the LaVar Ball show back to this Kardashian town. Because besides they already have the all dunking and blocking JaVale McGee who is worthy of a start with James (42) clapping like throwing up chalk. All as this hair blown out center throws it down again and again, coast to coast in California. But apparently there’s a mutual interest…what is this Tinder? Will this just be the makings of another Michael Beasley or make ’em dance Lance Stephenson meme team? Still the Lakers need more in reserve and Dwight needs this for his revenge to the past years that have taken his career from the red caped sun to being newspaper fodder to each cities equivalent of the Daily Planet. Time to rewrite all those who wrote you off Jimmy Olsen.
Read all about it, at the end of press next week Dwight Howard could be a Los Angeles Laker yet again.
News just in…I can’t believe I’m writing this.
Who would of thought it?
Certainly not Kobe.
But it’s the King’s town now.
And after all in this LeBron ‘Space Jam’ scripted season for the Los Angeles Lakers you know Hollywood loves a redemption story too.
Boogie’s Productions Down Again
Cousins injured again…we can’t relate to that.
When former Sacramento star and New Orleans Pelican DeMarcus Cousins joined the Kevin Durant, Steph Curry, Klay Thompson and Draymond Green Golden State Warriors to begin last season critics dubbed this superteam unfair.
What was unfair however was the ACL injury that kept Boogie sidelined for most of the season and then the quad injury on top of that in the playoffs that made sure the Warriors wouldn’t be dancing in their final chapter in Golden State.
But as D.C. made a Cali move too like the Dubs across the Golden Gate to San Francisco, heading to LeBron’s Lakerland with former frontcourt friend Anthony Davis, what was really unfair is what’s just come out of a practice run this week.
Cousins has tore his ACL again in a horrible twist of fate.
This games God’s people.
When DeMarcus reunited with the same former New Orleans big man that rocked his jersey in beautiful All Star tribute a couple of seasons back when they briefly flew together as Pelicans this Summer, the Lakers furthered their favourite status like tapping that heart on Twitter. Even if the Clippers ended up being the ones that got Kawhi Leonard…and Paul George too for the new battle of Los Angeles, raging against the Lakers Hollywood machine, the Lake Show have the ‘Space Jam 2’ of the King and the ‘brow. Not to mention the difference maker like rising star Kyle Kuzma in the veteran one of Cousins.
Either one of them will blow, or both, as the other will show he’s still got it. Giving the West’s best the biggest force of an interchangeable frontcourt. As the Lakers could either go with the more muscle version of a Tim Duncan and David Robinson twin towers in the Pelican reunited Kentucky Wildcats of Davis and Cousins and ‘Bron. Or the most dynamic duo since Shaq and Kobe of James and A.D. and the one young core star who didn’t get switched for this franchise player in Kuz, who could form a big three if the injured Cousins isn’t already still a part of one. Despite the writing off medical report.
And we haven’t even got to his Kentucky alumni Rajon Rondo led backcourt, or last year’s all dunking and blocking big headband and hair spark JaVale McGee. A gym rat who re-upped after almost going for both the Defensive Player Of The Year and Most Improved Player award in the first month of last seasons 82 campaign.
The Lakers are going to need him and that first wind of last year now more than ever.
Or the California club have some decisions to make for who to put in purple and gold for their almost meant to be final roster spot (DON’T AMNESTY!). Do they still wait for another former Warrior in Sixth Man, defensive legend Andre Igudola? Or do they leave him and the long rumoured other Anthony in Carmelo and pick up another big? Guys like Nené, Amir Johnson, Joakim Noah, Kenneth Faried, Zaza Pachulia and Marcin Gortat are still on the market like fresh fruit stalls. And even Dwight Howard of all people have expressed (more like blatantly begged for publicity) for a return to Lakerland after his Hollywood divorce.
Because we have no idea when Boogie will be back. Or if he will even be the same player when he returns. Or if he even was before this injury happened. But despite history rewriting so many careers crippled by injury we still believe. We still believe he has superstar status and could be the X-factor difference maker when he returns late in the game to this Hollywood scripted rivalry like he almost was last season in the Finals against Toronto as he flips it. You saw him almost become a Splash Brother with that three, so just you wait until you see him downtown in STAPLES this season when it’s all said and buzzer beater done.
The bridge is far from over.
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