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The 8th Wonder Of The Celtics

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The 8th Wonder Of The Celtics
Pieces Of 8...

Shimmy shimmy ya, shimmy yam, shimmy yay. Give Kemba Walker, Antoine Walker’s number and he’ll take it away.

Why you shaking that shimmy like that? Sometime between the big three of Boston Celtics legend Larry Bird’s shot and the big-three of Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen formed by Paul Pierce (sucks…just kidding), his former dynamic duo partner in the age of Shaq and Kobe, Antoine Walker had a decent one on him from downtown. Which he’d shake and bake before breaking out that signature dance. Stepping out after cutting a rug against his opponent like leaving broken nail patches in that old splintered parquet floor in the garden. As the one/two punch of ‘toine and P-Double really were the truth. I’ll always remember the time these two and the rest of the Celtics led by Horry like (I love Waltah) super microwave sub off the bench Walt McCarty took the Sixers to the statistics with a box score barrage of threes. Even Mark Bryant was getting them (old Mamba). Everyone was shaking the shimmy, like Walker this way. A certified classic Celtics legend.

Antoine Walker Boston Celtics Shimmy
Antoine Walker Boston Celtics Shimmy

“And just then, the highway opened up-right at the junction, right at that spot on the highway where you see the skyline of Boston, and you go, “What!?” Because it suddenly goes from trees, woods, and crickets to cars flashing by and skyscrapers and apartment buildings…Just at that moment, I went “Oh, s***, the city!” That’s what Boston boy, Aerosmith legendary lead singer Steven Tyler says about entering (ha, ha) his New England home. And from a guy whose got there from New York on more Peter Pan and Greyhound’s than Tinkerbell and Santa’s Little Helper, trust me the ‘Dude Looks Like A Lady’ singer is right about this moment of sweet emotion. Try and catch a shot on your smartphones all you like (believe me…I’ve tried and failed), but you won’t want to miss a thing. Now I’m sure Kemba Walker’s journey to the city will be a lot more glamorous than crying whilst binge watch episodes of the latest ‘Stranger Things’ series on a coach trip. But he’ll get plenty of chances to see this skyline envelope him in all its epic, awe and scribe inspiring feats when he rides the team bus.

Because now after Kyrie Irving left the opposite way for no sleep on the drive to Brooklyn with Kevin Durant, the city is Kemba’s after he said goodbye to Charlotte and the Hornets nest.

A little disrespectful of a heartfelt Nike commercial, but then again so is Kyrie ghosting the Celtics like Peter Parker’s Spider-Man did Nick Fury ‘Far From Home’.

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In the words of Samuel L. Jackson, “that’s some bull####!”

Kanter’s banter is the off-season Iverson step over of the Summer. And him playing a bunch of Boston kids on the playground full court in his full uniform is the hallmark, heartfelt moment of the year. But keeping the uniform on and sticking with numbers, the new star of the show Kemba Walker hopes to be the new eighth wonder of Boston’s world.

Now although he got legend Antoine Walker’s blessing, I originally believed that Boston should have already raised this to the rafters with a shimmy for their original employee number 8. The biggest wonder of that digit since the Black Mamba in the same ’96 draft class of its own. Even if Kemba hilariously tells us that there wasn’t any other numbers left with the amount of legends that have retired with the NBA’s most storied franchise (Walker’s old 15 obviously being retired for Tom Heinsohn). Up in the banner ceiling with all that dust and Red cigar billowing smoke. But then this writer realized that it was probably just jet-lag after his Beantown trip last week, or the Laker fan in me trying to pick fault with a Boston I love more than most purple and gold (in this garden every Batman need his Joker who he really, truly loves madly, deeply (savage)) talking.

I’m actuality it’s really a beautiful homage. They both have the same last name Martha. Now if Kemba unlike Kyrie makes sure that no one else ever wears this number in a fitting moment they could retire both players together, like their Laker rivals may do with LeBron and AD once the 23 is passed next year, as the King looks to have more jerseys retired in Hollywood than Kobe.

Antoine and Kemba together forever.

Walker this way.

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NBA

Jared Dudley Is The Lakers Unsung Hero

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jared dudley is the lakers unsung hero
No Dud...

There’s a hero that could save us in Hollywood right now.

And I ain’t talking about The King.

Or the Brow to ‘Bron in A.D. and his best since Shaq and Kobe dynamic duo combining for 70 like one off Elgin Baylor’s career high.

I ain’t talking about Kuz. Canada’s champ Danny Green from downtown purple and gold. Or the redemption reunion of Superman returns Dwight Howard in the hash-tag “Washed King’s” revenge season.

I ain’t even talking about the bald identity of my hero the Alex Caruso show this time.

I’m talking about Jared Dudley people.

Wait…what the?!

Yeah I said it!

Not the same Jared that got replaced by Joaquin as The Joker. Not the same Dudley that got nut checked by Shaquille O’Neal on the Knicks before lamely quarterback pitch throwing the ball after him on the inbound technical (we didn’t think centers apart from Shaq could pass like that). Or the same J.D. that like going with Coke welcomed us to Atlanta with Ludacris. But just Jared.

Yeah right…”just”.

You may think the former Brooklyn boy fan favourite owns the last roster spot that should have gone to a blazing Carmelo. Or still a free agent Jamal Crawford (even a J.R. Smith?!). A spot reserved for Andre Igudola once he gets out of contract hell. Or even a South Bay call-up for legendary names in young Lakers like Antetokounmpo, Stockton and Payton II. And let’s not forget the one Ingram they didn’t trade in the Grey Mamba ‘dre.

And with that headband over his shaved dome you may think the guy who Balenciaga bigger than Basketball looks the part in the players only catwalk runway to the stadium for his fashion fit drip looks like he’ll definitely be in ‘Bron’s ‘Space Jam’ sequel too. That’s all for your insults folks (“baldy?!”). But with that number ten to go with the head check he kind of looks like a less ripped version of a former King that used to kill the Lakers…and that’s no insult to J.D. Have you see Mike Bibby these days? He really is a unit.

But to me he looks like one of those bench energy guys who lifts the whole team in the mould of a Rony Turiaf or ‘Mad Dog’ Mark Madsen. Even if his time on the pine is more than on the hardwood. He still has his Laker legend like that photoshopped number 10 next to James and Davis for the new big three, tongue in cheek.

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And speaking of that number ten you just may see that jersey in the seats of STAPLES almost as much as the King’s 23. Why you ask. Are fans waiting until A.D. adds a King’s 2 to his 3 as LeBron carries the 6? Was there a sale? An in-game giveaway like that Shaq City Edition being on everyones seats pregame for its debut in L.A.?

No!

It’s because Dudley has literally been gifting his number ten signature to almost everyone (hello!) whose asked this season on Twitter and it isn’t even Christmas yet. What a statement. And if you thought that was a grand gesture then half of these people in the stands in tens are there because Jared has personally left comp tickets waiting for them for games at will call (the other half probably just in thanks). Not just at STAPLES…but on the road too. Now how’s that for player power? Reaching out to fans in precarious positions, with problems when it comes to getting to games, or even those whose lifelong dream was just to see Hollywood’s Lakers live and in living colour one time.

He’s done it countless. More times than the 23 and 2 team to start their best season since the year 2000 have won.

Now how about that? You love to see it. Right now no one does more for the fans than the people’s champ Jared Dudley.

When he gets his ring it won’t be from riding coattails, but giving his all, everything.

And let’s not forget the heart and hustle he puts down on the floor every night his box score doesn’t read DNP-CD for a second, or minute of time.

Let’s see more from Dudley.

The Lake Show are the Hollywood story of the season. But we all know when it comes to the script from the Basketball God’s you need your character actors as much as the academy of award winners. And if Jared Dudley really is the Lakers unsung hero in L.A. like Denis Irwin was for Manchester United (know your history) it’s time to hit the high notes and shoot our shot like he does his.

Now is this enough for me to get a jersey Jared?

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DO Call It A Carmelo Comeback. Anthony Is Guaranteed For Years

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carmelo anthony signs guarantee contract with portland trail blazers
Back From The Dead In RIP City...

Three fingers like “what’s your poison” and shots to the dome like LL Cool J’s comeback. I’m calling it…

La La said knock you out.

They say there are no guarantees in this life, or league. But now after almost crossing off an entire calender, Carmelo Anthony has one in this league of X and O’s.

You best believe every team that slept on him has woke up now.

O.K. Thunder? Like old New York. No ‘Melo in Lakers yellow, or Houston’s problem.

And let’s not talk about that ATL jersey Atlanta tried to hawk.

The Nugget type of fellow that Nelly rapped about like ‘Na-Nana-Na’, with the heart of a champion sweat until he was no longer in a suit and part of the Sportscenter theme again. After waiting longer to align with The King in Hollywood for this Game Of Thrones than another Anthony (Davis), Carmelo ended up coming up roses in the RIP City of Portland. And boy has he blazed a trail. Voltron forming arguably a big three with the best backcourt in the league not in this nation’s capital with C.J. McCollum and Dame ‘Time’ Lillard with the look like the OK3 of Russell Westbrook and PG3 and not the Beard and the Brow.

And now he’s exceeded everyone’s greatest expectations. As one of the G.O.A.T.’s has polished his path to the Hall with a comeback even better than the return of Superman Dwight Howard with the Lakers…which could have had a Hollywood sequel with Carmelo’s comeback.

But the Lakers loss is the PDX’s blazing gain.

What more would you expect from a guy who still put up competent averages in the soaring Rockets cosmos, despite being grounded by little court acclaim? The problems in Houston could have actually been attributed to another guy who ended up ousted and in an Oklahoma home too. Despite the trolls who are now trading in hot takes like they never simulated 2K videos of him building a Commodore house with his shot selection. Or the analysts who are changing their discussion like a report rewrite.

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Carmelo ain’t calming down. Anthony is taking everyone back to school.

Class has been in session.

And how about the report card? Eight games. 16.9 points and 5.9 rebounds per game. Big shots. Western Conference Player of the Week. All Star legend spot? He belongs like the Carushow in the Slam Dunk Contest. He’s unstoppable like LeBron James’ Eurostep, spin-cycle lay-up that is like a runaway freight…word to Denzel Washington. Or his Kareem sky-hook. Tokyo 2020 Team USA bid for the best in five rings Olympic legend in his golden age? Big shots from the double 0 like seven. From nothing twice?! This is no time to die Mr. Bond.

He’s gone toe-to-shot with the MVP. Showed he was more than a most imported or Sixth Man, but still a star. More than the name, but the actual game. And now he’s guaranteed to be around for a while longer like he never left, but is here to stay. As the Blazers changed the trail on the end of the signature of his contract before the ink even dried for this guy’s with the wet jumper like staying outside in the snow with your ugly NBA sweater this Christmas.

This tax is more than a luxury. It’s about to cap off a classic career with one compelling closing chapter.

Even when he bit career highs at the core of his career in the Big Apple, the ever humble hero Carmelo was a walking and dribbling, “I just take it one game (or day) at a time” postgame soundbite like he has been in his comeback off court to on it. Well now the Blazers can guarantee him 365…or at least 82 or however far he takes them.

From the headband to the hoodie, stay ‘Melo. Anthony is here to stay.

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