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Your Number Is No Longer Up With NBA’s New Jersey Of The Future

Your Number Is No Longer Up With NBA's New Jersey Of The Future
Your Number Is No Longer Up With NBA's New Jersey Of The Future

Throwback jerseys only really work if it’s been longer than two weeks.

This writer bleeds purple and gold until he dies (when surely we will find out how true that sentiment really is…heavy I know). And last Summer after LeBron’s free agency Hollywood move came with some new suits that took it back to the Showtime 80’s, I was more than in. I already copped the favourite Sunday White 23, as there wasn’t any Hollywood Nights on the horizon this year (and as for those City Edition pinstripe threads? Like the opposite of Kobe…Pass). And I’m saving my gold for whoever we mine from this year’s free agency (that’s a nice way of saying I hope it’s Anthony Davis). But what about the best in the show? The iconic road staples with a Mamba black trim? Well after much debate in the Lakers team store in L.A. this December gone I came away as indecisive as any fellow Englishman…empty handed. Upon finding nothing under my tree last Christmas, I decided to opt for the January sales were our local Foot Locker promoted Lonzo Ball’s number 2 jersey as they go to purple and gold garb. And with half-off who could argue at that discount?

It’s not like he’s going to get traded… right?!

Well we all know how that almost played out and over the next couple of weeks I was facing my jersey being defunct before it even came home in the post (the only other guy I know in my town who likes Basketball had the same issue with a Kuzma jersey coming from China…he’s probably still waiting). And you can best believe like Snapchatting along to Diddy’s ‘Bad Boy For Life’ I have been wearing the proverbial s### out of that Lonzo number 2 ever since. It’s like I’m part of the Big Baller Brand.

Maybe I am.

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But in this league where players get traded like they really were damn stocks, this is a problem we face all the time. Even if this thirtysomething man whose ballplaying frame is thinner than the hair up top his dome has no business rocking (or even saying, “rocking”) NBA jerseys, or having a closet so full of them he could start his own Mitchell and Ness pop-up shop. But now with the next-gen future here now, this looks to be a thing of the past. Something soccer fans don’t even have to worry about, even if they Sandwich Board around like walking adverts for their teams sponsor. Which lapel to WNBA and G-League is coming across the chest you usually thumped with pride for your team’s name. Not how much you like logging on to StubHub when you’d rather pay three times the amount for a ticket that went on sale two minutes ago (yep…I’m still a Chris Paul nixing bitter).

Adam Silver brought those surname sake linings to the new NBA threads on display in hoops hotbed North Carolina today, ahead of this weekends NBA All-Star festivities in the classic city of Charlotte. Home to the Hornets’ nest and our pick for game MVP,  underrated until Monday makes sense of what he did on Sunday superstar, Kemba Walker. His All-Star jersey at the click of an iPhone suddenly morphed into a Steph Curry one before everyone in attendance for this presentations perplexed eyes. Before being switch-a-roo changed again to a number 23 Mike, cast like iron. Although if I was an amazed Amhad Rashad I’d be happy with the Bulls throwback I was rocking (oops..I said it again) whilst presenting.

You know how much one of those costs?

Probably almost as much for the astronomical price, these new tech jerseys will retail for once they hit NBA stores in 2030 (hey Anthony may get signed by then…Carmelo or A.D.). These new Nike jerseys have been tapped into the times ever since you could hold your phone over the label for exclusive content. So it’s no wonder they can now flick between jersey names and numbers like changing flight times at an airport board. So now when trade players are checking their departure they can already update their new work uniforms with the click of the same application. The change clothes era for Knick and Lakers fans is finally coming to a close, although you just know Nike will find some way of recouping the massive loss they will no longer make with the cost of switching up your jerseys for the new free agents joint. Or perhaps there’s a limit like chasing your Netflix region. And perhaps there’s a wait like your microwave meals in-between binging your favourite shows series by series. Either way, this is exactly what the streaming age needs in all it is live for the moment, swipe away the past age of instant application. One a cynic may see these shapeshifters-that will probably come with a subscription fee like everything else-as teams taking back the agency of their ownership, combating the opposition in this time of player power. And despite the Kevin Durant team change jokes that are trending on Twitter and questions we all want to be answered like, “how do I even wash this thing”?! Or my own one, ‘these Nikes are nice but why does the team name on the small size have to be so damn small?! This is the best news for fans who want to put their own names on the back of their favourite teams jersey (or rude ones) since you could import your face onto a created player on NBA Live (although a lot of times you came out looking like some GTA player with cornrows and tattoos even those on all those removal shows you watch would never dare ink in the first place). This is truly in the game. And can even be changed in the middle of one. Which might have made that whole Harrison Barnes debacle that much more awkward if the teams G.M. took out his phone not so subtly at halftime like checking your Facebook feed in the middle of dinner (you know those people that post those pictures about putting your phones in the middle of the table and the first one to pick theirs up gets the bill? They’re doing that, WHILST AT DINNER!!).

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Smart jerseys by the smartphone.

And who knows with these new All-Star and all name uniforms being introduced this weekend maybe even ‘Team LeBron’ could make some last minute changes to his against the wall like school picked roster for Sunday’s game.

But isn’t that tampering?

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